Hello, 2022!

Last year, I told 2021 to "Bring it." 2022...just don't fuck anything up, okay?

I'm just going to keep it simple this year and renew the resolutions I made this time last year (mostly because they were great and also because well...why the fuck not). I've altered a few of them though, making a few a little more realistic based off of last year's resolution follow-throughs.

2022 Resolutions:
     (1) Write [almost] every day...or at least think about it
     (2) Don't stop reading
     (3) Make something (e.g. a manuscript)
     (4) Share love of books/writing
     (5) Be kinder to myself

What are your 2022 resolutions?

#newyearsresolutions #hello2022 #keeplearning #writeeveryday #dontstopreading #makesomething #shareloveofbooks #shareloveofreading #bekindertomyself #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Goodbye, 2021!

I don't remember a lot of 2021. I'm not sure if that's because nothing major happened, or if it's because it was just another 2020 (aka a lot of scary shit happening and a lot of people not caring and that being the new normal). 

Exciting things I do remember happening: my best friend got married, I went to a concert, I went to Universal, my grandma turned 80, I redid my parent's kitchen, I got 3 new tattoos, I bought a new bookshelf, I caught covid, I found a new genre that I'm in love with, and probably more (but like I said, this year was...).

2021 Resolutions:

     (1) Write [almost] every day

     (2) Don't stop reading

     (3) Complete something (e.g. a manuscript)

     (4) Share love of books/writing
     (5) Be kinder to myself

(1) I wrote a few days. I did more research for different manuscripts than actual writing, but that counts as something...sorta. Going to try to do a little bit more in 2022.

(2) Books read this year: 235 (though I might add one more by midnight). I can't say I should try to do more in 2022, because I did a shit ton in 2021, but I can ask for the opportunity more the same amount (or the same quality).

(3) Did some research for additional manuscript submissions, looking for an agent. Didn't do any additional submissions though. In December, I finally accepted that my book needs some cuts. In December, I also accepted that I don't know how to proceed with even more cuts. Trying more with a renewed will in 2022.

(4) Posts this year (including this one--as well as the next): 283. See the end note from number two for 2022 goals for this resolution.

(5) Let's just start over next year? Yeah. That's what we're going with.

Anyone still holding onto their resolutions (now that its time to make brand-new ones)?

Any exciting 2022 reads?
Anything I should check out?

#newyearsresolutions #goodbye2021 #hello2022 #keeplearning #writeeveryday #dontstopreading #completesomething #getprofessional #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Goodbye, December!

December... I remember Thanksgiving...and then all of a sudden, it was Christmas. Sorta. Then it was New Years Eve. So there's that.

2021 Resolutions:

     (1) Write [almost] every day

     (2) Don't stop reading

     (3) Complete something (e.g. a manuscript)

     (4) Share love of books/writing
     (5) Be kinder to myself

(1) I wrote/edited for a few days, almost a whole week straight actually. Then I went and started to avoid my problems again. There's some scenes I know I have to shorten/cut and I just don't know how to go about condensing them. Yet. 

(2) Books read this month: 12 (though I might add one more by midnight).

(3) Didn't do any extra research. But I opened up my manuscript again and was able to edit some stuff and kill some darlings.

(4) Posts this month (including this one): 18.

(5) Let's just start over next year? Yeah. That's what we're going with.

Anyone still holding onto their resolutions (now that its time to make brand-new ones)?

Any exciting January reads?
Anything I should check out?

#newyearsresolutions #goodbyedecember #hellojanuary #goodbye2020 #hello2021 #goodbye2021 #hello2022 #keeplearning #writeeveryday #dontstopreading #completesomething #getprofessional #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Where The Wild Things Are

I kept meaning and meaning and meaning to read this book for years (my coworker has a really cool tattoo--its her favorite book). Every time I think of reading it, I go to buy it (hoping there's a kindle version because I'm very instant-gratification--there's not, by the way), and I either forget or I'm too impatient to wait for it to be delivered. THIS TIME, I made myself wait.

It was so very worth it. Obviously

["Max, a wild and naughty boy, is sent to bed without his supper by his exhausted mother. In his room, he imagines sailing far away to a land of Wild Things. Instead of eating him, the Wild Things make Max their king."]

And like all children's books, the main character (the child) learns something, even just a little bit. He learns that, at the end of the day, something familiar and comforting is oftentimes more rewarding than adventure (and being King).

I (also) find a hot dinner and my own bed more comforting than...pretty much anything else.

#wherethewildthingsare #mauricesendak #books #childrensbooks #classicbooks #childrensclassics #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Reading Slump

I did a quick first reread through of my manuscript and decided that I was going to reward myself by reading a few books before I went through it a second time and did some more major cuts/edits. 

That was a week and a half ago...

Since then, I started and abandoned a book. Started and abandoned a book that I started and abandoned a few months ago. Thought about doing that last one a few more times with a few more books. Then stared at my bookshelves for a while (specifically the TBR shelves). Then I stared at my kindle app for a while. I did those last two things back and forth a few times, too. Then (there are a lot of thens in this post--I'm aware; I'm just too lazy to thing of other transitional words), I went and did that first one again (well, the second one with the first one's book).

It's official, people. I'm in a book slump. I hate reading slumps. It's almost harder than TV/movie slumps. It's definitely more frustrating then writing slumps (in my opinion--I'm fully accepted and embraced my writing slumps).

Granted, as soon as I post this, I'm bond to find some book that will stick. Fingers crossed. At least, I have a few more ideas on books to start (I just hate having so many half-started books; it stresses me out more than my TBR piles).

And to that one picture's credit, I have indeed binge-watched a new show obnoxiously fast (this time around: Brooklyn-Nine-Nine--and I have about a season and a half left, so no spoilers please).

#readingslum #bookslump #reading #readingproblems #writing #writingproblems #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Merry Bookmas

Merry Bookmas, everyone!! To whatever holiday you celebrate, I hope it's a safe and happy one. 

Fun little note: all of the books in the picture are queer.

So all of that holigay season is most definitely "making the Yuletide gay" as we "don...our gay apparel." Among other references to the happy definition of gay that I can't think of/Google right now (my brain is tired already).

#merrybookmas #merrychristmas #holidayseason #holigayseason #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Ambiance Achieved: Writing Edition.

Ambiance achieved.

Not pictured: my himalayan pink sea salt lamp, my burning candles, my ginger ale and Jack, and my squishmallow Dino Doug. 

Part of writing is being incredibly vulnerable. You have to open yourself up and pour your soul onto the page. It's incredibly intimate. Therefore, you have to make an environment in which you can be as honest and comfortable as possible. Hence, the ambiance. 

#whyiswritingsohard  #whyisrevisingsohard #writing #editing #revision #writingproblems #editingproblems #revisionproblems #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Taping Your Darlings Together

Well, I did say that you'd be hearing from me again soon...

After you kill some of those darlings you have to add some more or tape some old ones together. 

Because of the language my characters use (there some definite swearing) as well as a scene or two that's pushing the young adult envelope (at least in the traditional sense, in the definition of young adult and ya lit in the publishing world), I've decided to age up my characters a bit. 

Instead of them being high school sophomores (16ish) my characters will be college sophomores (19-20). It could still be considered young adult, to some agents/publishers/readers. It could be considered that weird age-group that's not quite young adult and not quite adult (like "Red, White, and Royal Blue" or the All For The Game series--both queer, both dark, both steamy). Therefore, I've been replacing all of the high schools/schools with college and changing the classes to courses. Sometimes it's easy; sometimes it's not.

Obviously, changing their AP English class to an Intro To English Lit course was easy. Making the property damaging food fight (the blurb to my manuscript is below) still severe enough to warrant needing intervention from an adult authority figure, hence the community service requirement, but not severe enough that they'll be charged with a full-blown felony, since they're of-age/adults in the eyes of the law. 

It was tricky (still is) and required a shit ton of research/reading online student handbooks to figure out how demerits works in college (can't exactly threaten a college sophomore with a detention, now can you?). It's also opened my eyes to some other revision things (hence the Killing Your Darlings post), like how weird some of my anti-passive-voice solutions look (my MFA program--which I love, loved, will always cherish--made me so afraid of passive voice that now some of my manuscript sounds awkward; sometimes, you just have to use to-be verbs and say 'fuck it'--besides, published authors use it more than you think)

My one best friend told me that the double/triple revision slash overhaul of Two Moves Ahead would be my 2022 goal. Who makes New Years Resolutions during this section of December for the new year? Me apparently.

When I'm done with....all of that....I'll need help again.... Reading through my manuscript, answering a few questions, making a couple of comments, etc.... If you are at all interested, please send me a message, and we can discuss this thing further. Thank you!

[[[   My manuscript, "Two Moves Ahead" is a queer, magical realism YA romance novel following Cyrus Lux and Chander Nox. 
    Cyrus was born from the sun, and Chander was born from the moon. With a feud to rival that of the Montagues and the Capulets, their two families quarreled and clashed for centuries.
    After a massive, property-damaging food fight at their college, Cyrus, Chander, and their friends work off their community service hours doing maintenance at a kid's summer camp. Strange situations and spilling secrets bind Cyrus and Chander together. With a few complications, confessions and confrontations along the way, they fall in love.]]]

#whyiswritingsohard  #whyisrevisingsohard #anyonewanttovolunteerastribute? #writing #editing #revision #writingproblems #editingproblems #revisionproblems #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Killing Your Darlings

When you're finally okay with "killing your darlings."*

Let me elaborate for those of you that don't write. A ton of writers are taught that a key part of the revision process is cutting back (the "killing"). Deleting a ton of unnecessary prose, dialogue, sub-plot, characters, etc. They're part of you (the "darlings"), sprung from your imagination and typed out/written out by your fingers (literal blood from paper cuts, literal sweat from hand-cramps, and literal tears from...well...all of it).

Years ago, when my graduate thesis director told me to cut out a few of the characters from my manuscript, I was like "sure, yeah, that makes a ton of sense," and the worst part of that was the logistics of it (trying to figure out what lines/personalities/etc of theirs I need to attribute to some other character). I had no qualms, because I was okay with it. It wasn't hard for me.

Then, when I sent out all of those manuscripts to all of those agents fourteen months ago, I knew deep, deep (deeeeeeeeeeeeeeep) down that it was too long and that very fact would turn people off. And that a few scenes could probably be shortened and jokes deleted and plots sharpened. But at the time, I didn't care (stupid of me, but we all make mistakes). It was too fucking hard. I had on my rose-colored glasses, and I wasn't ready to take them off.

Now I'm actually ready to make those hard cuts. I didn't know that I was until I went about trying to age up my characters (a whole other blog post rant about that might be coming your way soon). But I noticed stuff that was redundant or just like...stupid, and I deleted it. Thought about it, congratulated myself on the milestone, and did it some more.

I also made me noticed something I really hate about the one formatting idea I had executed. Trying to think outside the box--sometimes it works, sometimes it takes you over a year to figure out it doesn't. Which, I mean, would have been great if I didn't realize it over 100 pages into revising it; so now I have to go back, again, and fix that before I can go forward and try to revise another thing that I noticed could use updated. 

Moral of the story, sometimes you have to murder your babies. It fucking sucks. It might take you a moment to be okay with it; it might take you over a year to be okay with it. But that's why you're supposed to let your work rest for a while (one of the many, many reasons).

*This popular writing advice is attributed to William Faulkner (but it's also the titled of a queer movie staring Daniel Radcliffe (that I still need to watch sometime))

#killingyourdarlings #killyourdarlings #writing #writingproblems #whyiswritingsohard #writersproblems #revising #revision #revisionproblems #revisingproblems #whayisrevisingsohard #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Holiday Hookup

Slight detour to catch up on a few other things downloaded on my Kindle. Starting with the ever-fabulous Baylin Crow and her new short story, "The Holiday Hookup."

["Reasons why Hunter Holliday is on my Naughty List:

1. He dresses like it's Casual Friday every day of the week.

2. Everyone loves him, even though I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually get any work done. It's the smile, I think. Definitely the laugh.

3. He's so relaxed, sometimes I can't even tell if he's awake. Or conscious.

4. He doesn't respect my office space boundaries. Stay in your own office and stop messing with my stuff!

Okay, the list is actually really long, but none of it matters because it's time for the annual Secret Santa exchange, and guess whose name I draw.

Hunter freaking Holliday

And he knows this because, I repeat, he won't stay out of my office and leave my things alone.

Even though I didn't ask, he has no problem telling me exactly what he wants.

Me. For one night."]

This short story was soooooooo fuuuuuuucking cuuuuuutttttte!! D: Like, holy shit! The fluff I needed today (especially that "epilogue"--aka the holiday party--aka Hunter's one and only chapter from his POV).

I can't gush too, too much about it. Because my favorite part was the plot twist (ish--plot twist-ish, not that it was my favorite part ish), but due to the definition of 'plot twist', I can't exactly gush about it. Or hint at it. Since this short story is just over 60 pages, it would give away a lot.

Let's just say, turns out Finn doesn't hate Hunter nearly as much as he says he does. At least, now that he's letting himself actually think of Hunter that way--sexually, romantically, literally any other way than the stubborn jock, bane of Finn's existence, the worst person that Finn ever met. Sounds like love to me ;). 

Trigger Warning: slight 'Baby It's Cold Outside' vibes in how persistent Hunter is; though, he does give Finn several chances to say no and/or change his mind (and assuming Finn would say "get the fuck out of my office", Hunter would actually listen). Not necessarily a trigger, but I wanted to mention it anyway. I loved it, for spoiler alert reasons, but I know some people might not.

#theholidayhookup #baylincrow #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Pretty In Pink (Housemates #6)

My old patterns continue. I'm about to binge-read through all of/most of Jay Northcote's work. Starting with his Housemates series. The sixth and final novel (a full-length novel) is titled "Pretty In Pink."

["Ryan isn't looking for a relationship with a guy--and Johnny isn't looking for a relationship at all.

Ryan's always been attracted to tall, leggy blondes--normally of the female variety. When Johnny catches his eye at a party, Ryan's interest is piqued even though he's never been with a guy before. The attraction is mutual, and the amazing night that follows opens Ryan's eyes to his bisexuality.

Experience has taught Johnny that love hurts. Staying single is safer, and there's no need for complicated relationships when hooking up is easy. When he moves in next door to Ryan, they're both interested in picking up where they left off, and it seems like an ideal arrangement: convenient, mutually satisfying, and with no strings attached.

Despite their best intentions to keep things casual, they develop an emotional connection alongside the physical one. Both begin to want more from the relationship but are afraid to admit it. If they're going to work things out, they need to start being honest--first with themselves, and then with each other."]

These two were spectacular idiots. You seriously hook up for three days in a row, exploring different fantasies and sharing soooo much trust, but its nothing more than casual sex.

They didn't fucking taaaalk until like the 85% mark. But they way they were "forced" to confront their feelings and they way they did was so damn cute. Like I wish I could gush about it, because it was just that adorable and unique, but it would so spoil things.

They were really both idiots though. They accidentally stumbled into real feelings and wanted more than just casual sex, but they were both so afraid of rejection that they ended up breaking each other's hearts anyway.

Also, I know I've said it before, and I know I'll say it again, but Johnny is like one of my favorite kind of character tropes: slightly emotionally distant mouthy/sassy/bratty bottoms with a little punk flare (or in Johnny's case, a little more than a little--punk flare--what else would I be referring too? ;) )(((and just because, I'll attach a tumblr meme thing, because, why not?)))

Trigger Warnings: internalized homophobia, etc

#prettyinpink #jaynorthcote #helpinghand #likealover #practicemakesperfect #watchingandwanting #macandjezdovalentinesday #startingfromscratch #housemates #housematesseries #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Starting From Scratch (Housemates #5)

My old patterns continue. I'm about to binge-read through all of/most of Jay Northcote's work. Starting with his Housemates series. The fifth novel (a full-length novel) is titled "Starting From Scratch."

["Starting over isn’t easy, but Ben is ready to live his life as the man he was always meant to be.

Ben is transgender and back at university after hormone treatment and chest surgery. His new housemates have no idea about his history and Ben would prefer to keep it that way. He’s starting from scratch and his life is finally on track, except in the romance department. The idea of dating guys as a guy is exhilarating but terrifying, because if Ben wants a boyfriend he’ll have to disclose his secret.

Sid is drawn to Ben from the moment they meet. He normally gets what he wants—in the short term at least. Ben’s guarded at first, and Sid’s not used to guys rejecting his advances. He eventually charms his way through Ben’s defenses and helps Ben on his journey of sexual awakening.

It doesn’t matter to Sid that Ben is trans. He’s attracted to the whole person, and isn’t worried about what is—or isn’t—in Ben’s pants. They’re good together, and both of them are falling hard and fast, but Ben’s insecurities keep getting in the way. If Sid can convince Ben he's committed, will Ben finally be able to put his heart on the line?"]

This book was really, really cute!! They were just so suddenly into each other. But like the blurb said, Ben's anxiety and internalized transphobia (which, I didn't know was a thing, but it completely makes sense, obviously) got in the way a few times.

I love learning new things while reading, and like Sid, I learned a lot about being trans and the transitioning process and what to say/not to say, do/not do, ask/not ask. And it wasn't anywhere near an info-dump type of situation. Everything was intertwined into the story and dialogue seamlessly.

Also, I read somewhere that Jay is also trans. Nothing better than author representation.

Trigger Warnings: homophobia, transphobia, internalized transphobia, dysphoria, anxiety, etc

#startingfromscratch #jaynorthcote #helpinghand #likealover #practicemakesperfect #watchingandwanting #macandjezdovalentinesday #prettyinpink #housemates #housematesseries #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Mac and Jez Do Valentine's Day (Housemates #4.5)

My old patterns continue. I'm about to binge-read through all of/most of Jay Northcote's work. Starting with his Housemates series. The fifth installment (a short-story that takes place during the fifth novel—curtesy of #Smashwords) is titled "Mac And Jez Do Valentine's Day."

["Mac has essays to mark on Valentine’s Day, and Jez insists on keeping him company while he works. Jez promises not to distract him, but Mac knows it’s only a matter of time..."]

I love these two. They were fantastic idiots in love during their book ("Helping Hand"), and in each continuous books in the series, they continue to steal the scenes. They're cute and happy and bullshit each other and make every single couple jealous of their relationship (same though).

This short story was a perfect little treat to the fans, just over 2,500 words, and further instilled my love of them as a couple as well as my love for this series (and this author is like, really, really good).

Onto the "officially" fifth book in this series...

#macandjezdovalentinesday #jaynorthcote #helpinghand #likealover #practicemakesperfect #watchingandwanting #startingfromscratch #prettyinpink #housemates #housematesseries #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Watching and Wanting (Housemates #4)

My old patterns continue. I'm about to binge-read through all of/most of Jay Northcote's work. Starting with his Housemates series. The four novel (the second full-length novel in this series) is titled "Watching and Wanting."

["Watching Jude’s cam show stirs desires Shawn’s always denied...

Shawn is adrift. Recently graduated, he’s stuck in a dead-end job that barely pays the bills. His girlfriend dumped him, his friends have moved on, and he’s still in Plymouth—going nowhere.

Jude is a student living in the same shared house. Out and proud, he’s everything Shawn’s been running from since he hit puberty. When Shawn discovers Jude works as a cam boy, he can’t resist the urge to watch one of his shows. It makes Shawn want things that scare him, yet his fascination forces him to confront his attraction.

Keen to explore his bicurious side, Shawn suggests they do a show together. Jude agrees, and things get complicated—and kinky—fast. But Jude isn’t looking to get involved with someone so deep in the closet. If Shawn’s going to get what he wants, he needs to find the courage to stop hiding from himself and be honest about who he is."]

I kinda knew Shawn would end up getting his own book. Because that's how books work. Especially the romance genre. Especially this particular branch of the romance genre. And I figured that he would work that whole redemption-arc, secretly-queer-or-will-be-but-can't-accept-it-because-internalized-homophobia-and-toxic-masculinity. Which, I'm not mad about,  because that's real-life and I always believe in a good redemption arc. Though, I know a lot of people aren't (because real-life people don't always deserve a redemption art--neither to fictional people *cough* Snape *cough*--especially if they're a noted bully previously in the series to previous main characters--which Shawn was, though he apologized). Therefore, I had no problems with him, especially after reading him through his own POV and knowing how he thinks, but I know people might. 

Okay, onto the rest of the review.... I really, really liked these two. Shawn was so shy and closeted (pun intended) about his desires and dreams, but Jude just wasn't and has never been. They balance each other out. They want the same things in the bedroom, but outside of the bedroom, they've become really close friends who look out for each other and push each other to do their best.

They kind of just jumped headfirst into the sex thing. But it was seriously hot. And they taaaaaalked. Granted, not about their feelings, but about boundaries and safe words in their sexual relationship, which is just as fucking important (that #consentissexy thing). There was a brief sub-drop scene, but Jude gently helped Shawn into an aftercare situation got both of them back out of the scene safely. And it forced them both to realize their true feelings for each other, which, I'm never mad about. ;)

TRIGGER WARNINGS: homophobia, internalized homophobia, self-hatred, social anxiety, anger issues, sub-drop, sex work for an online platform, again as if sex work isn't a real career which it is, etc

#watchingandwanting #jaynorthcote #helpinghand #likealover #practicemakesperfect #macandjezdovalentinesday #startingfromscratch #prettyinpink #housemates #housematesseries #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Practice Makes Perfect (Housemates #3)

My old patterns continue. I'm about to binge-read through all of/most of Jay Northcote's work. Starting with his Housemates series. The third novel (the first full-length novel in this series) is titled "Practice Makes Perfect."

["Getting experience with the guy next door seems like a great idea-until the lines blur. 

Dev, a geeky first year physics student, has zero sexual experience and he's determined to change that ASAP. After a bad time in halls of residence, he's starting the summer term with different housemates and a new plan of action. 

Ewan lives in the house next door to Dev. He's young, free and single, and isn't looking to change that anytime soon. When awkward circumstances throw them together, Ewan offers to help Dev out in the bedroom in return for maths tutoring, and Dev jumps at the chance. 

They work their way through Dev's sex-to-do list, but what starts as a perfect no-strings arrangement gets more complicated as their feelings for each other begin to grow. If they're going to turn their lessons in lovemaking into something more permanent, they need to work out how they feel about each other-before they get to the end of Dev's list."]

Very, very sweet. I mean, honestly. It couldn’t have gotten any sweeter. Well, then it got a little sour when they didn’t communicate their feelings and desires, especially after a misunderstanding or two. I might have cried (spend-read too fast to bawl, so there’s that). 

I didn’t feel like a full-length novel, in a good way. Maybe because it was so perfectly paced. There wasn’t really any unnecessary scenes or conversations that could have been cut. Everything was crucial to the main plot or one of the many Dev-Ewan-centered subplots. 

It was just really, really cute. All of it. 

TRIGGER WARNINGS: homophobia, social anxiety, bullying (in connection to the bullying: breaking and entering, destroying personal property, use of homophobic slurs, people laughing instead of putting a stop to bullying aka group think as well as the bystander effect, etc*), etc. 

*Spoiler alert, but a really nice one that makes you believe in humanity again: after Ewan meets Dev, when they get coffee at the campus cafe, Dev’s bullies taunt him, but Ewan, as well as a badass anonymous female, stand up to the bullies and protect Dev (because sometimes the bystander effect can be reversed and used for good). 

#practicemakesperfect #jaynorthcote #helpinghand #likealover #watchingandwanting #macandjezdovalentinesday #startingfromscratch #prettyinpink #housemates #housematesseries #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

You'll Be The Death Of Me

Might have to pause my manic and sporadic reading habits to catch Karen M. McManus's newest novel, "You'll Be The Death of Me." Because everyone needs a little murder mystery and psychological thriller in their lives every now and again (as long as it's fictional, of course). ;)

["Ivy, Mateo, and Cal used to be close. Now all they have in common is Carlton High and the beginning of a very bad day.

Type A Ivy lost a student council election to the class clown, and now she has to face the school, humiliated. Heartthrob Mateo is burned out--he's been working two jobs since his family's business failed. And outsider Cal just got stood up...again.

So when Cal pulls into campus late for class and runs into Ivy and Mateo, it seems like the perfect opportunity to turn a bad day around. They'll ditch and go into the city. Just the three of them, like old times. Except they've barely left the parking lot before they run out of things to say...

Until they spot another Carlton High student skipping school--and follow him to the scene of his own murder. In one chance move, their day turns from dull to deadly. And it's about to get worse.

It turns out Ivy, Mateo, and Cal still have some things in common. They all have a connection to the dead kid. And they're all hiding something.

Now they're all wondering--could it be that their chance reconnection wasn't by chance after all?"]

This book was...a little anti-climatic. Not the climax itself. The climax itself was really good. The novel actually started picking up right before then (at least halfway through--not until the trio pulled a Scooby Doo and split up, spoiler alert). Until that point, I just felt like I was reading out of obligation (because the rest of her books are soooooo soooo so good--and I feel incredibly guilty for feeling this way about YBTDoM). At that point, maybe halfway through, the plot really picked up. 

Before that, it just felt a little cliched (each of the three kids were old friends but fell out because of social differences right before high school, each had really interesting and embarrassing and potentially illegal secrets they were keeping, each had a shit-load of responsibility and guilt and adulthood on their shoulders even though they were just teenagers) and a little too cookie-cutter for the genre.

Anyway, when the plot did pick up, it was harder and harder to put the novel down. And at that point, I felt a lot more compelled to figure out who done it and why (and how). Until that point, I just...didn't care. I'm not sure if it was because the lack of clues left for readers to figure it out themselves or what. I just... there were too many red herrings and not enough clues (the only clues were red herrings and it was distracting and confusing).

Okay, even ranting. I'm still suggesting you read this novel. Because, well, being a writer (even though I haven't written in forever), I'd want someone to do that same for my hard work, and 99.999% of then time, I'll still recommend a book even though i had issue with it. Then again, maybe I'm juts in a negative mood and took it out of this book and its actually really good, who knows.

Trigger Warnings: death, dying, violence, murder, blackmail, lying, predatory relationships, drugs, drug-use, cheating, framing people for things, illegal activities in general, etc

#youllbethedeathofme #karenmmcmanus #thecousins #oneofusislying #twocankeepasecret #oneofusisnext #books #bookstagram #murdermysteries #psychologicalthrillers #YAmurdermysteries  #oneofusislying #oneofusisnext #twocankeepasecret #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Movie Review: Single All The Way

Sorry to interrupt your previously scheduled programing. I've just finally watched "Single All The Way," and I need to share.

"Single All The Way" is a queer Chrsitmas rom com that just debuted on Netflix staring #MichaelUrie and #PhilemonChambers (as well as a few others, including Paulette from Legally Blonde, Jocelyn from Schitt's Creek, and Mary Sanderson from Hocus Pocus).

["Peter asks his best friend to pose as his boyfriend on a Christmas visit home, but their plan — and feelings — change when his family plays matchmaker."]

Except it's sooooooo much more than that. Their plan, spoiler alert, goes awry as soon as they get to New Jersey.

Tropes: best-friends-to-lovers, forced proximity, there's-only-one-bed, meddling family members, christmas in a small town, blind dates, extreme christmas presents, impromptu dance number, and probably more.

Plus all of the glass-breaking firsts: first queer Christmas rom com on Netflix, first queer black actor in a Christmas rom com, and probably more.

It was really, really cute. I was afraid that Peter would turn self-sabotaging towards himself or his relationships, but that trope wasn't hit upon.

I was hoping for a little more fluff, being that its a Christmas movie and a rom com, but it was still wonderfully done. Not sure if its in my top 10 favorite movies (Christmas, rom com, queer, overall), but I'd definitely watch it again (or a sequel...). The tropes and the glass-breaking first make up for some of the fluff-less-ness, but there was a cute dog and a bunch of cute kids (including a very meddling set of twins that deserved more screen time because they were fabulous).

Doing some research for this post, I discovered that the movie was based on a book..maybe I'll go check that out..

What's your favorite Christmas movie?

#singlealltheway #sleighqueen #christmasromcoms #queerromcoms #queerchristmas #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Like A Lover (Housemates #2)

My old patterns continue. I'm about to binge-read through all of/most of Jay Northcote's work. Starting with his Housemates series. The second novel (novella in this case) is titled "Like A Lover."

["Josh has a plan: get through uni with a good degree and no debts. Focused on his goals, he’s working as an escort to pay his way. He enjoys the no-strings sex and doesn’t have the time or inclination for a relationship. Falling in love definitely isn’t part of the deal—especially not with a client.

When Rupert meets Josh in a bar, he’s smitten on sight. He’s never paid for sex before, but when Josh propositions him, he can’t resist. He should have known one night would never be enough. Luckily for him, he has an inheritance to support his addiction to Josh, because his job in IT wouldn’t cover the cost.

With each appointment the lines get increasingly blurred. Something is developing between them that feels more like a relationship than a business transaction, but they come from different worlds and to go from client-and-escort to lovers seems impossible. If they want a future together, Josh and Rupert have a lot to overcome."]

This one was complicated. For the blatantly obvious reasons. But for the most part (I’ll repeat that for emphasis, for the most part), they handled it well, with jealousy, and little white lies, and cold shoulders, and almost-broken-hearts. I definitely cried. At least twice. 

In the end, they figured it out. On their own terms. Real compromise here. No settling. It was fucking beautiful. 

Idiots. All do them. But they managed to put their egos and pride aside for a mo to talk their feelings out. Happily ever afters come come easy ya know (hence the compromises). 

Trigger Warnings: homophobia, sex work, stereotypical thoughts from others about sex work, even though sex work is a legit work field, though I'm probably using outdated terms,

#likealover #jaynorthcote #helpinghand #practicemakesperfect #watchingandwanting #macandjezdovalentinesday #startingfromscratch #prettyinpink #housemates #housematesseries #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Helping Hand (Housemates #1)

My old patterns continue. I'm about to binge-read through all of/most of Jay Northcote's work. Starting with his Housemates series. The first novel (novella in this case) is titled "Helping Hand."

["Jez Fielding and James MacKenzie—Big Mac to his mates—are in their second year at uni. After partying too hard last year, they make a pact to rein themselves in. While their housemates are out drinking every weekend, Jez and Mac stay in to save cash and focus on their studies.

When Jez suggests watching some porn together, he isn’t expecting Mac to agree to it. One thing leads to another, and soon their arrangement becomes hands-on rather than hands-off. But falling for your 'straight' friend can only end badly, unless there’s a chance he might feel the same.]

These two were so fucking cute. You only get Jez's POV in this novella, but I think it made the pining and the angst all the more heightened and the ultimate HEP all the more worth it.

All the while Jez is struggling with some of his own things and trying really hard not to fall for Mac, he's constantly more worried about Mac and his feelings and his needs above his own. It's fucking sweet, idiotic, but sweet (and Mac makes up for it, just more subtle--then again, Mac doesn't really know all of the things Jez is doing/struggling with because they don't talk).

And they continue to not talk until it's too late (or almost...because it is a guaranteed happily ever after story after all). 

Amazingly beautiful start to the series. I'm here for it, that's for damned sure. ;)

Trigger Warnings: homophobia, internalized homophobia, the world and its need to use labels all the damn time even when you're not a labels kind of person, etc.

#helpinghand #jaynorthcote #likealover #practicemakesperfect #watchingandwanting #macandjezdovalentinesday #startingfromscratch #prettyinpink #housemates #housematesseries #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

What Happens At Christmas

Continuing my theme of reading the last few books downloaded on my kindle as well as the long list I have on my wish list for my kindle, I'm reading a bunch of queer holiday romances instead. Here's Jay Northcote's "What Happens At Christmas."

["When two friends pose as boyfriends, could what happens at Christmas turn into something more?

Justin is recently and unhappily single. Christmas is coming, and he doesn’t want to face his ex alone at their office party. So Sean—Justin’s best mate and long-time secret crush—volunteers to go with him and pretend to be his new flame.

Sean has always lusted after Justin from afar, but there’s never been a good opportunity to ask him for more than friendship. Posing as Justin’s boyfriend isn’t a chore, and if Justin wants to rebound onto him, Sean’s more than willing. At the party pretence and reality blur, and a kiss on the dance floor leads to a night of passion.

In the aftermath, they both assume it was a one-time thing until fate intervenes. Stuck together in London over the holidays, they give in to temptation again. But what happens at Christmas stays at Christmas... right? "]

These two. GAAAAH D: They were so damn cute. Both helplessly in love with the other one. It didn't take long for the steamy to reach a peak (or several peaks), but they didn't actually  t a l k  until like 85% through the novella (at least they talked).

There was sooooo much fluff. And so much fluff even before the heat really hit. Best friends to sooooo much more. Love them. Love this novella.

#whathappensatchristmas #jaynorthcote #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks