Goodbye, January!

Two things: Why did I tell 2024 to bring it? and Why is January always 300 days long?

2024 Resolutions:
     (1) Don't stop reading
            (b) Complete Monthly Reading Challenge(s)
     (2) Make memories
     (3) Share love of books/writing
     (4) Be kinder to myself

(1) Books read this month: 56 (might get one more in there before midnight though).
    (b) Monthly Reading Challenge(s): Shape = Snowman. Got some A-Z stuff recorded. Set up challenge ideas for the rest of the year.

(2) January Memories: Anxiety. Cold. Snow. Ice. More snow. I went to see Cirque du Soleil with my mom, my aunt, and my grandma, and it was freaking fabulous (I'm both so happy I got to see it and so sad that I waited so long to go); then I took them to a good pizza place. I met my friends for dinner and dessert one night. I chopped twelve inches of hair off, and I'm going to donate it to Wigs for Kids. Sad moment: we found out my dog, my perfectly love, is in kidney failure; we're not sure if he had weeks or months, but it sucks pretty hard. Exciting moment: tonight I bought a guinea pig for my preschool classroom, and it's a surprise for them for tomorrow morning. 

(3) Posts this month (including this one): 27.

(4) Well, I did think I was dying at one point; apparently, I was just anxiety breathing...for a few days...yay. BUT I turned it around. I started doing more breathing and lavender using. I downloaded the Finch app to help me focus on surviving the day, drinking more water, and getting some long term and daily goals completed. It's been helping. Maybe in February, I'll get on my elliptical bike more... I have stress eaten more. And I had a doctors appointment the other day, so unfortunately, I know my current weight (trying to balance exercising/losing weight without going into a self-hate and self-deprecating spiral).

Anyone still holding onto their resolutions?

Any exciting February reads?
Anything I should check out?

#newyearsresolutions #goodbyejanuary #hellofebruary #hello2024 #keeplearning #dontstopreading #monthlyreadingchallenge #makememories #shareloveofbooks #bekindertoself #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Unmasked

STILL don't know what to read, but I need a change of pace; so...I decided to get a head start on some Beat the Backlog books. This one was leftover from my October reads last year. It's Mia Monroe's "Unmasked."

["Would winning his heart replace the bitterness in mine?

High school was hell. My peers spent their waking hours tormenting me. My accent, my weight, my lack of social skills, and looks only a mother could love, made me a perpetual target.

Years later, fed up with being the underdog, I took matters into my own hands. My transformation was epic, dare I say, supernatural, and I returned to that town armed with perfect looks, a fat bank account, and enough charm to steal world secrets, but my heart hadn’t changed at all, and it was hungry for revenge. I craved the destruction of my enemies more than the blood I now needed to survive.

And then Eli returned. My first crush, despite the fact he was straight. Eli was the one person who stood up for me in high school. He was a true friend, but I loved him with the ardent focus of a teenager, and once I saw his face again, I knew that love hadn’t died out at all.

Suddenly revenge took a backseat to wooing Eli. Now I could be the man he deserved on his arm, but Eli saw past the new me to the person I still was deep inside. Could he want me if he knew what I had become? Would he love me if he saw me Unmasked?"]

The dual POV in this book almost killed me. Between the mutual pining and the mutual attraction and the mutual mutal-ness of it all?! D: It was a slow burn of the best kind of torture. 

Part of me disliked how Michel had to change himself so that he would like himself, but people do that every day with plastic surgery. Eli didn't mind past Michel, but he certainly doesn't mind present Michel. ;)

This book reminded me of how sweet and snappy and spicy Mia Monroe books can be. Perfection.

Trigger Warnings: really mean bullies in the past tense, including physical violence and homophobic slurs. lots of current day bloodiness and murder. he isa vampire, after all.  

#unmasked #miamonroe #beatthebacklog #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Mask of Sin

I still don't know what to read, but I need a change of pace; so...I decided to get a head start on some Beat the Backlog books. This one was leftover from my October reads last year. It's Michaela Cole's "Mask of Sin" (it's a dark romance).

["Halloween is supposed to be a time of celebration and delight, tricks and sweet treats.

If you're a college student like me, that includes hitting up the legendary costume party my best friend, Blaine, throws every year at his family's mansion.

And my senior year is shaping up to be the best year of all because I've finally caught the attention of my hot roommate and crush, Kellen Williams. He is everything I desire, and all I need is for this night with him to go perfectly.

I guess that makes me naive.

After all, according to some ancient traditions, Halloween is a time when the line between the living and the dead becomes thin. Where spirits and sinners are free to walk the earth, wreaking havoc and seeking vengeance, and dressing in masks will shield you from their evil.

Too bad I never liked masks, and no costume can protect me from the supposed sins of my past or the evil of those who have set out to enact revenge against me."]

The prologue threw me off. Just as I gathered my thought. The first coaster threw me even more. And then, when I got everything figured out, this shit turns violent and scorched-earth. And then it’s fluffy as hell. Annnnd, sommmmmehow, it flows. Like what?!?!?

I don’t know how Michaela did it, but like, this was gold. Dark as fuck gold, but gold.

Trigger Warnings: suicide, sexual assault, physical violence, death, drug use, homophobia, and more.

#maskofsin #michaelacole #beatthebacklog #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Oliver (Walking Disaster #2)

Not sure what to read, but I've been meaning to read some more of E.M. Denning's things. Here's "Oliver." It's the second novel in her Walking Disaster series.

["Oliver Spalding is back in town and the only souvenir he has from his time overseas is a broken heart. Being home should be revitalizing, but his best friend is dating his dad and Oliver feels like a third wheel. Feeling unmoored, and out of place, Oliver seeks comfort in the arms of a handsome stranger.

Oliver likes his new hookup, but with one recently broken heart under his belt, he doesn’t want to get attached. Oliver’s plans to ghost his new hookup go awry when he finds out who he really is.

Jordan Cooper is a force to be reckoned with when he wants something, and he wants Oliver. When Leo opens a door of opportunity, Jordan takes it and ropes Oliver into his plans to do something special for Leo and Benji. But Oliver is struggling more than anyone knows and if he’s going to pull out of it, he’ll need to let his family support him.

Between a relationship that almost never happened, a wedding that does not go off without a hitch, Oliver learns that the best things in life are worth working for and sometimes we all need a little lift from our friends."]

Well, while Oliver's best friend and father were falling in love and getting their lives sorted, Oliver's was falling apart. No wonder why he was so freaking sad and grumpy and straight-up miserable. He showed alll of the signs of depression (which were written out and describe well, so mind that trigger warning), but somehow, he still have enough room to squeeze Jordan past his walls.

Jordan thought he didn't have room left in his life or his heart for someone, even if he was feeling more and more alone lately (seeing your best friend fall in love does that). Until he met Oliver. Then he was done, gone, head over heals, ready to sacrifice anything for this man.

These two were so freaking cute. And spicy as hell (seriously, there was more smut in here than plot--not that I'm complaining).

Trigger Warnings: depression

#benji #oliver #walkingdisaster #walkingdisasterseries #emdenning #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

January's Book Shape Challenge

Here's January's Book Shape Challenge! A cute little snowman.

(I picked all of these books at random, based off the color of their cover; not based on: whether I read them or not--most of which I haven't, sense why they were closest).

#reading #readingchallenge #readingdare #bookdare #bookchallenge #alphabetchallenge #beatthebacklog #monthlythemes #monthlychallenge #bookshape #bookshapechallenges #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Benji (Walking Disaster #1)

Not sure what to read, but I've been meaning to read some more of E.M. Denning's things. Here's "Benji." It's the first novel in her Walking Disaster series.

["Benji Hayes is at the end of his rope. His best friend is an ocean away, he's lost his apartment, his job, and he's living out of his car. Then—he loses that too. When he calls for help, his knight in shining armor turns out to be the last person he expected to see. Leo Spalding, his best friend's elusive dad. The man he's only met once, and not under the best circumstances.

Leo offers to take him in, and Benji finds himself in more debt than he can ever repay. The tow bill, the dead car, the safe, warm bed to sleep in every night. Not to mention the food Leo cooks when he's hungry, and even when he's not. Benji is in heaven. He never wants to leave, but then he goes and ruins everything—just like always.

Benji is a walking disaster who has no business crushing on a successful older man, especially one who has gone out of his way to help. Benji can't stop himself from falling for his best friend's dad. The crush itself is bad enough, but acting on those burgeoning feelings would only lead to an even bigger disaster, right?

Right?

So why does he do it, anyway?

And what are they going to do now?"]

Benji is the purest definition of walking disaster. And 90% if the time it’s not even his fault, which he would argue with (but that’s why he as Oliver—and now Leo). Leo is the walking definition of pure confidence and stability and support (which is why life throws him a Benji-shaped wrench into his life). 

These two are a hot mess. A hot fucking mess. But they’re so freaking cute and perfect for each other and so disgustingly happy together. 

I can’t wait for the next book!

#benji #oliver #walkingdisaster #walkingdisasterseries #emdenning #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

2024 Reading Challenges

I've decided to challenge myself a little bit this year. 

Last October, I dared myself to read only thrillers, murder mysteries, paranormal, or dark romances for the month, trying to keep with the theme of October/Halloween, but still reading within my favorite genres/series/authors (this is a hill I will diiiiiie on; life is too short to read books to impress other people. read books that you want to read. period). It was a really fun month! I still got a loooot read while exploring more of the dark romance side of things that I haven't super dived into yet.

For 2024, I want to do more of that. 

I have a few standard reading challenges set up for the entire year. Namely the Alphabet Challenge, but I want to see if I can fill in A-Z on book titles, authors, and series (or at least 2 of the 3).

I'll also be trying a few more monthly themes. October will be the same as last year. June will be all queer reads (which I completely last year with a silent dare to myself--which, wasn't hard, as 95% of what I read is queer). I'll set up a few months as Beat The Backlog months (trying to tame some of those TBR piles, both physical and digital). I want to gives myself a few months here and here to be able to play catch up though with my top authors/series, so not every month will be a thematic dare (and so I don't burn myself out).

ALSO, I'll be doing month book shape challenges. During Pride Month, I try to do a lot of pride flag theme posts with my books as well as making a rainbow out of my queer book collections, and it's always a fun time (crazy and chaotic and filled with blood, sweat, and tears--but a fun time nonetheless). So each month, I'll also pick a shape pertaining to a holiday that month or a season and attempt to create it out of my numerous book piles around the house. 

Have you every done a book dare (whether it be for a week, a month, or a year)? Did you enjoy it? What reading challenges have you tried? Any recommendations for me to add to my growing list?

#reading #readingchallenge #readingdare #bookdare #bookchallenge #alphabetchallenge #beatthebacklog #monthlythemes #monthlychallenge #bookshape #bookshapechallenges #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Treasuring Michael (Tales Reimagined #3)

R.S. McKenzie is currently working on a whole series of gay reimagined fairytales (series named: Tales Reimagined). The third book is a Cinderella retelling, and it's titled "Treasuring Michael."

["Damon
I've been stuck in a bad situation for most of my life with no escape in sight. I work all day only to come home and face derision and abuse from my stepfather and stepbrothers. Wash, rinse, repeat. Everything changes the night I sneak into the masquerade ball my stepfather forbade me to attend. The event he says will change the trajectory of his career. While there, I come face to face with a man that's supposed to be dead. A man I’m afraid may have murdered my best friend. He’s asking for my trust, but am I ready to make that leap?

Michael
When I came back to the States to save my brother, I didn't think I'd run into the man who has been on my mind for years. Damon is still as gorgeous as I remember. But he's afraid of me. I'll do what I can to have him trust me, including telling him the truth about my past. I want Damon, there's nothing I won't do to keep him."]

I forgot how much I loooooooved this serious. Seriously. It's so dark but deep and emotional and spicy and possessive and someone still so sweet and fairy-tale-like and karma's-coming-for-you and perfect.

And these two?! They fell so hard and so fast, no matter the hell going on behind closed doors. Damon made Michael knock his walls down. Michael made Damon come out of his shell. They were perfect for each other in so many ways. I can't. I fucking love this series.

Trigger Warnings: physical abuse, mental abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, graphic violence, off page parental death, on page death, and more.

#tamingsavage #trustingquin #treasuringmichael #talesreimagined #talesreimaginedseries #rsmckenzie  #beautyandthebeast #littleredridinghood #cinderella #beautyandthebeastretelling #littleredridinghoodretelling #cinderellaretelling #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Bennett (Hunter Security #4)

Here is the fourth book in the Hunter Security by Laura John. It's called "Bennett."

["ARCHER
Life as a famous country singer has been an adjustment, but I’ve worked hard to keep things fairly low-key. The last thing I want is a bodyguard scrutinizing my every move, but when a fan becomes obsessed, I know I can't put it off any longer.

Now he’s here and I find myself in a predicament. I wasn’t expecting my hired protector to be so hot, or the instant chemistry to spark between us. But the man is my opposite, with an allergy to relationships that makes me wish I was into simple hook-ups.

I can’t stop thinking about him. Everywhere I go, he’s there—my tall, dark, and sexy shadow. The question is, how am I going to break through his walls and get him to let me in?

BENNETT
Throughout my career, I have never crossed the line with a client I’ve been hired to protect. Never had the slightest inclination to… until Archer Dawson enters my life.

A relationship is the last thing I want, but something about this sexy country singer makes me want to try. As he slowly breaks through my carefully constructed walls, and I start to let my guard down, the threat of his obsessive stalker gets in our way.

Will I be able to keep him safe, or is my love for him going to be the distraction that pulls him from my grasp?"]

These two fell hard and fast. It was filled with trust and attraction. They were so freaking perfect for each other. I'd say "if only for that pesky, attempting-murder stalker", but that stalker is the reason they met and fell in love soo...

AND this book sort of introduced a new mm series that Laura is working on, so win-win-win. ;)

Trigger Warning: stalking, drugging, weapons, explosions, guns, knives, and more

#nixon #denver #knox #bennett #huntersecurity #huntersecurityseries #laurajohn #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

My Chaos, His Calm (Men of Fairlake #7)

Not sure what I want to read right now (reading slump mixed with mild seasonal depression). However, Romeo Alexander's "Men of Fairlake" has been on my TBR list for a while now, so I figured I'd start there. The seventh and final novel is "My Chaos, His Calm."

["My world is chaos, and he’s my only peace—but at what cost?

My scars are both visible and hidden. I’m lonely, but I do okay…I think. I’m still a bit of a disaster, but I have a job and a roof over my head, and the medication keeps my demons at bay. What I don’t need is a babysitter, but try telling my overprotective brother that.

When I first saw Luke, I couldn’t stop staring—his beauty and strength captivated me. As I get to know him, I realize he’s the calm to my chaos—the light to my darkness. Of course, he’s straight, so I can’t have him. But all it takes is what I thought was a hot dream, and it appears we’re both open to change. The lines are blurred, and he doesn’t have a problem with that…or me. I don’t deserve him, but he doesn’t see it that way. He’s perfect.

But he doesn’t know what I did. If he knew the ugly truth, I’d lose him. Luke and I can only ever be temporary, so I keep my secrets.

When the past threatens to catch up with me, I have a choice…keep the secret for the sake of me and my brother…or take a chance and tell Luke everything. But damn it, I can’t even get that right.

Is it too much to ask to love and be loved and have a chance at the future I desperately want…with Luke? The past is dead. So why won’t it stay buried?"]

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t too sure about this one at first. After reading Grant and Sylas’s book, this one really appeared to have the love cures all, including mental health mentality, but it wasn’t like that at all. Felix wanted to brighten his days, Felix wanted to work hard to get back on track, Felix put in the work for his new goals; Felix did most of the harder work even before Luke came into the picture. Yes, Luke was his calm, his steadiness, but Felix wasn’t cured with love (not that mental health can be cure).

These two were fucking adorable. I loved them. I loved their wit and banter and trust and obsession with each other.

A great ending to the series.

Trigger Warnings: past child abuse, childhood rape, major mental health issues, ptsd, murder, drugs/alcohol and overdosing, and more.

#mybestfriendssecret #fallingembers #seekingsanctuary #cuffsandcommitment #oncebrokentwiceloved #cakeandcomfort #mychaoshiscalm #menoffairlake #menoffairlakeseries #romeoalexander #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Cake and Comfort (Men of Fairlake #6)

Not sure what I want to read right now (reading slump mixed with mild seasonal depression). However, Romeo Alexander's "Men of Fairlake" has been on my TBR list for a while now, so I figured I'd start there. The sixth novel is "Cake and Comfort."

["Every scar tells a story. He stepped into my story, bringing his own, offering a taste of healing I never knew I craved. Secrets hurt, but comfort might be just a kiss away.

I went through hell. If it hadn’t been for my brother doing…what he did, I wouldn’t have survived. He nearly didn’t. We were children, and the records are sealed, but if the truth ever gets out, I don’t think we’ll survive again. So I keep my secrets.

My past does not define me. I’m just a baker…a broken baker with no social skills. If you want freshly baked bread or fancy cakes, I’m your man, but if you want anything more…forget it. I can barely get through the day without my lists and routines. But it works for me, and I’m happy…I think.

Then, out of nowhere, a famous movie star shows up wanting a cake for his sister’s wedding, and he won’t take no for an answer. Who the hell does Sylas Goner think he is? And why won’t he leave me alone?

Turns out he’s persistent and determined…and hot, handsome, funny, intelligent, and God, he wants me. Why? But Sylas refuses to give up. He shows me a brighter future full of possibilities I never allowed myself to imagine. Then, just when I start to believe my life could include love and a future I never dreamt of, the past comes rushing back. My dreams vanish, and I’m forced to give Sylas up. I knew it was too good to be true.

But I underestimated Sylas’ tenacity."]

Wow. Holy shit. This book was so many levels of sweet and fucked up. Don’t get me wrong, it was fabulous, but I didn’t think we could top the shitty childhood/backstories we had earlier in this series (I was so terribly wrong).

But where Grant was caution and predictably and reason, Silas was a glorious mess or loud and spontaneous and fate. They were perfect for each other in so many ways. Especially when Sy went all scorched earth to protect his man ;) 

This one has paralleling timelines with the next book. Which again, I kinda like, but at the same time, it took what I can only imagine is a loooot of the plot out of the surprise/suspense zone.

Trigger Warnings: past child abuse, childhood rape, serious mental health issues, and more 

#mybestfriendssecret #fallingembers #seekingsanctuary #cuffsandcommitment #oncebrokentwiceloved #cakeandcomfort #mychaoshiscalm #menoffairlake #menoffairlakeseries #romeoalexander #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Once Broken, Twice Loved (Men of Fairlake #5)

Not sure what I want to read right now (reading slump mixed with mild seasonal depression). However, Romeo Alexander's "Men of Fairlake" has been on my TBR list for a while now, so I figured I'd start there. The fifth novel is "Once Broken, Twice Loved."

["When the man who left you broken-hearted reappears with a child in tow, do you slam the door or let the past come flooding back?

He left me broken. He walked out of my life ten years ago with no explanation, and I fell apart.
Ian, the only man I’ve ever loved just walked back into my life…with his sassy, eleven-year-old daughter, Ayla, who’s deaf. Yes, I can do the math.

He’s a cop, and I’m a paramedic, so our paths have to cross.

I thought I was over him. I thought I’d moved on. I was wrong. Who am I trying to fool?
I finally have answers, but I’m still angry. He says he feels guilty, but at least now I understand.

Maybe we can be friends? Maybe not.

I still love him. Does he still love me? Can we rebuild what we once had? Will we get a second chance?

So many questions…

There’s no time to find all the answers before life decides to kick us in the teeth again, and it’s Ian about to break.
But this time, we’re not alone. We have the whole town of Fairlake behind us."]

This one took me forever to get through. Not because it wasn't good; it was fucking great. But I was tired and then peopling and then avoiding some of the will-they-won't-they angst.

And the angst?! It was glorious. They were both so... Their first re-meeting was amazing. Their first talk as "just friends" was amazing (until it led to shouting and explosive hate sex--which was also amazing). 

They didn't have it easy, from opposite-but-equally-as-not-great parents to resurfacing Feelings to feelings of uncertainty and anger and the lurking toxic ex in the so-as-far-as-anyone-would-hope background. 

But this book was fabulous. As as the other books in the series did, this one really foreshadowed some awesome things for the next book (more angst and Feelings and shared histories).

Trigger Warnings: violence, off-page abuse, addiction, kidnapping, and more.

#mybestfriendssecret #fallingembers #seekingsanctuary #cuffsandcommitment #oncebrokentwiceloved #cakeandcomfort #mychaoshiscalm #menoffairlake #menoffairlakeseries #romeoalexander #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Cuffs and Commitment (Men of Fairlake #4)

Not sure what I want to read right now (reading slump mixed with mild seasonal depression). However, Romeo Alexander's "Men of Fairlake" has been on my TBR list for a while now, so I figured I'd start there. The fourth novel is "Cuffs and Commitment."

["After Troy died, I didn’t want to love again. I didn’t think I could.

Then Ethan explodes into my life like a firework on the Fourth of July, bringing light, laughter and more than a bit of mischief. Dammit! I knew he was going to be trouble. I just didn’t expect my heart to be in danger.

I’m the Chief of Police, and at forty-six, my life revolves around duty and responsibility. Ethan, on the other hand, is a twenty-something investigative reporter who chooses to live life on the edge. We couldn’t be more different but despite that, we both carry life’s scars.

What began as a fake relationship for the purpose of an investigation, and to stop the town gossips in their tracks, soon leads to desire and unspoken emotions, which seem all too real…even if we struggle to accept them. Should I continue to deny what my heart craves?

He helps me feel again, and I help him let go of the past. Can two such different souls help each other heal?

When Trevor and Ethan meet, sparks fly! Delve into the steamy romance between a small-town police chief and a reckless young reporter as they discover the healing power of love."]

I don't know why, but I felt like this one dragged a bit. There was a lot of set up between the two of them, a lot of not-really-hate-animosity, a lot of the new case, a lot of the family connections, a lot of the past, a lot of feelings-but-not-Feelings talk. It was a great book, don't get me wrong, but there were some large sections that could have been cut (and unfortunately that I skimmed).

But Trevor?! Fucking hell. Yes. Yesssss. That man. God, he's a grumpsy, surly ass, but he was hot and sweet and protective and a secret softly. He was perfect for Ethan (who was a sassy, looking-for-trouble brat who had a heart of gold and just wanted to shed light on the reality we live in).

Trigger Warnings: violence, torture, implicit rape, child abuse, and more

#mybestfriendssecret #fallingembers #seekingsanctuary #cuffsandcommitment #oncebrokentwiceloved #cakeandcomfort #mychaoshiscalm #menoffairlake #menoffairlakeseries #romeoalexander #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Seeking Sanctuary (Men of Fairlake #3)

Not sure what I want to read right now (reading slump mixed with mild seasonal depression). However, Romeo Alexander's "Men of Fairlake" has been on my TBR list for a while now, so I figured I'd start there. The third novel is "Seeking Sanctuary."

["I lost him once. I won’t let him be taken from me again without a fight.

The voice on the other end of the line is one I’d given up all hope of ever hearing again…Devin.

As a boy, I loved him like a brother. As a man, my feelings are far from brotherly. Despite the years apart, everything in me aches to hold him, touch him, taste him. Is it possible he feels the same?

Right now, he’s hurting, and I swore I’d help. He needs me, but as I watch over him, I feel so helpless. Drugs have stolen so much of his life, and as they work their way out of his system, I vow never to let anyone or anything hurt him again.

If only that was a promise I could keep.

But Devin’s past comes back with a vengeance, and this time, I’m not going to sit back and wait. This time, I’ll do whatever it takes to get him back where he belongs.

In my arms and in my bed. Forever."]

I avoided reading this one for a bit, only because I knew how hard it would be. From the previous two books, to the sheer agony of the trigger warnings below. Then when I did start it, I couldn't stop. 

This one was haaaard emotionally and mentally. These aren't particularly my triggers, but they were descriptive, on the page, and in depth. 

But their hard times and their struggles made their love story all the more beautiful and emotional and strong. They had to fight their demons, both new and old, separately and together. This novel wasn't slow burn (the spice was strong), but those nightmares came to life near the third act really will leave you feeling hallow. 

Trigger Warnings: explicit violence, abduction, drug abuse (vivid descriptions), withdrawal (vivid descriptions), implicit rape, domestic violence, child abuse, rape, on-page killing, and more

#mybestfriendssecret #fallingembers #seekingsanctuary #cuffsandcommitment #oncebrokentwiceloved #cakeandcomfort #mychaoshiscalm #menoffairlake #menoffairlakeseries #romeoalexander #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Amazing Alpha Tau Self-Improvement Project (Alpha Tau #2)

Here is Lisa Henry and Sarah Honey's "The Amazing Alpha Tau Self-Improvement Project." It's the second in their Alpha Tau series.

["Dalton Beauregard has a plan, and it involves acing all his exams, making the Dean's List every year he's at Lassiter College, and going to med school and becoming a doctor.

Marty O'Brien has a plan too. His is to improve his life by emulating those around him. He's going to need a study plan, a tutor, and... a boyfriend?

Dalton can't believe he's even considering this. It's utterly ridiculous. Marty is an idiot, and there is no way he's going to help him learn how to be gay.

Or is there?"] 

There was just something about Marty that was like watching a train wreck. Disastrous and beautiful (except unlike a train wreck, Marty is wrapped up in good intentions and glorious(ly mischievous) smiles). "I wondered what chaos tasted like. Probably tequila." // "It turned out that chaos tasted like coffee." 

He thrived in Dalton's world of organization and undivided attention. Just as Dalton thrived in Marty's word of risk taking and study-break taking. These two were adorable and perfect and a hot mess, but they were a wonderful hot mess. 

#brojobs #theamzingalphatauboyfriendproject #themazingalphatauselfimprovementproject #theamazingalphataupledgeproject #theamazingalphatauromeoandjulietproject #alphatau #alphatauseries #lassiteruniversity #lassiteruniversityseries #lisahenry #sarahhoney #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Sherlock Holmes Retold for Children

If you know me, you know I looooove Sherlock Holmes. I stumbled across Alex Woolf's Sherlock Holmes retelling ("Sherlock Holmes Retold for Children") (illustrated by Eve O'Brien) the other day. I've been slowly reading through them, taking my time, relearning some of those classic cases.

["Join world-famous detective Sherlock Holmes and his ever-loyal sidekick Dr. Watson as they embark on a series of daring adventures. Priceless jewels disappear from a hotel suite, a monstrous hound is spotted on the moors and a woman is murdered in a locked room. Can our brilliant hero solve these mysteries and more before disaster strikes?"]

There are sixteen short stories in total, all with cute illustrations of Sherlock, Holmes, and all their shenanigans. Some of the stories included are: A Study in Scarlet, The Hounds of Baskervilles, The Speckled Band, A Scandal in Bohemia, and many more. 

The series is advertised as ages 6+. And for that few people on Amazon that had negative reviews: of fucking course there's murder and dead bodies and sensitive topics involved in this series!!! It's Sherlock Holmes! Did you think he'd be solving the mystery of where he put his pipe!?! He solves murders and thefts and affairs. Alex wasn't going to change EVERYTHING about Sherlock that makes him Sherlock. (end rant).

I highly recommend this series if you love children's lit, mysteries, Sherlock (but don't want to read the heavy Doyle originals), or just need something to pass an hour of your time. 

#sherlockholmesretoldforchildren #sherlockholmes#retoldforchildren #alexwoolf #eveobrien #sherlockholmesretelling #authorconandoyle $thriller #yathriller #murdermystery #yamurdermystery #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Falling Ember (Men of Fairlake #2)

Not sure what I want to read right now (reading slump mixed with mild seasonal depression). However, Romeo Alexander's "Men of Fairlake" has been on my TBR list for a while now, so I figured I'd start there. The second novel is "Falling Embers."

["One freak accident is all it takes to rip open the closet doors and threaten the peace I’ve fought my entire life to gain.

Isaiah Bently is everything I’m not. Rich and charismatic, with a smoking hot body earned through years of hauling people out of burning buildings, he’s the kind of guy everyone either wants to be or wants to be with.

So imagine my surprise when an on-the-job injury forces us together, and I’m faced with the realization that what Isaiah wants…is me.

His sweet, playful touches re-awaken a part of me I’ve spent my entire life trying to deny, and it isn’t long before the simmering attraction between us turns explosive. Behind closed doors, I give him everything he asks of me and more.

But secrets like ours never stay hidden for long. And when my lifelong tormenter discovers I’ve fallen hard for another man, I’m faced with an impossible choice. Bring my relationship with Isaiah out into the open, and risk losing everyone I’ve ever cared about…

Or turn my back on the only person to love me, all of me, exactly as I am."]

This book made me sooooob. For like 20-30 minutes I just had tears streaming down my face while I continued to furiously read. Fucking fictional characters breaking my heart. 

And broke it they did. It was such a sweet and slow burn and soft and spicy and perfect book. It healed your soul before leaving you wondering where humanity is heading only to make everything better again (with soup-filled bread-bowls on top--instead of whipped cream?--though Isaiah would probably loooove if we added whipped cream on top of Julian).

Trigger Warnings: firefighting action and on-the-job injuries, homophobia (including homophobic slurs), internalized homophobia, toxic families, alcoholism, mental health problems, mental abuse, physical abuse, economic abuse, blackmail, and more  

#mybestfriendssecret #fallingembers #seekingsanctuary #cuffsandcommitment #oncebrokentwiceloved #cakeandcomfort #mychaoshiscalm #menoffairlake #menoffairlakeseries #romeoalexander #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

My Best Friend's Secret (Men of Fairlake #1)

Not sure what I want to read right now (reading slump mixed with mild seasonal depression). However, Romeo Alexander's "Men of Fairlake" has been on my TBR list for a while now, so I figured I'd start there. The first novel is "My Best Friend's Secret."

["I thought falling in love with my best friend would be the biggest shock of my life. I couldn’t have been more wrong…

Coming back home with my tail between my legs after a bitter divorce and a failed business venture isn’t exactly the life I’d envisioned for myself.

At least there’s Bennett. Strong and steady as always, even if there is a simmering anger in him that wasn’t there when we were boys.

When that anger finally boils over, I’m braced for a fight, but what I get instead… is a kiss.

A kiss that changes everything.

But a surprise visit threatens the new life Bennett and I are beginning to build together. Now I’m faced with an impossible choice: Return to the safe, predictable life I’d always planned on with my ex-wife…

Or take a chance on the unexpected love of a lifetime."]

This above blurb makes Bennett sound like...Adam (he's the real grump in this duo); Bennett is a sunshiny, mischievous golden retriever. 

This book was the perfect mash of angsty and sweet. They didn't have an all out talk about the past, about Adam ghosting Bennett, about Bennett's secret until it had bubbled over and exploded. 

And did it explode...into even more angsty pieces that resembled heartbreak and me crying at midnight. Then it got all soft and sweet and protective and adorable and not-quite-communicating-yet. Then it got all heartbreaking again, times two or three. 

But IT'S FINE. They eventually did talk it out. After Adam got (playfully) hit by his mom with a spatula a few times, and Bennett got yelled at (with good intentions) by his friends, and I cried some more. 

I'm not sure how I feel about some of the spoilers we got for the rest of the series. I loooove when a series takes place within the same timeframe (book A is parllel to book B is parallel to book--you get it), but now that I know at least 4 (or 5) of the future couples, I...don't know.

#mybestfriendssecret #fallingembers #seekingsanctuary #cuffsandcommitment #oncebrokentwiceloved #cakeandcomfort #mychaoshiscalm #menoffairlake #menoffairlakeseries #romeoalexander #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Cocky Neighbor (Corio Heights #5)

Another book slump. Maybe I can try to cross another author off my list instead? Here's Rye Cox's "The Cocky Neighbor." It's the fifth and final book in her Corio Heights series.

["What do you do when you can't stop thinking about your new boss?

Eric couldn't ask for a better life. He has amazing friends, a great job, and the freedom to go home with whoever he wants that night. He couldn't ask for more, because he never wanted more. Relationships were for people tired of the excitement of the unknown, and that certainly wasn't him. Life was perfect...except for the appearance of his new utterly annoying, ridiculously dressed boss who is set on making his job a living hell. Eric wants nothing to do with the man, so why does it seem like he can't escape him?

Liam came in with a mission, and that is to finish his job perfectly. His brother tasked him to stabilize the new hotel line their family's company acquired, and he couldn't fuck this up. He doesn't need distractions, especially in the form of sexy, kind, and hot-headed men like the hotel's manager. Liam is determined to keep his distance, but it doesn't help when the man keeps wiggling under his skin. Maybe it's time to stop trying to fight this attraction and find another way to release the extra tension?"]

These two were so freaking clueless. It was adorable. They were in lust in a heartbeat and in love just after that; they just pretended they weren't. They were perfect for each other, from their passions to their dreams to their friends to their softness for cats. They just had to get our of their own heads first (which took a while).

#thenewneighbor #theflirtyneighbor #theforeverneighbor #thehideawayneighbor #thecockyneighbor #curioheights #corioheightsseries #ryecox #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Hideaway Neighbor (Corio Heights #4)

Another book slump. Maybe I can try to cross another author off my list instead? Here's Rye Cox's "The Hideaway Neighbor." It's the fourth book in her Corio Heights series.

["What do you do when your past becomes your new neighbor?

Noah thought he was safe with his childhood friend, and all that awaited them was a lifetime of happiness. When the unthinkable happens, he hides away to lick his wounds, but his heart remains frozen in time. Unable to move forward, Noah finds that his new neighbor is the very man who has him bound in the past. Is this the closure he's been seeking to end that chapter of his life or will he break free from the chains that have coiled around his heart and learn to trust again?

Bound by the shackles of pressure, Lucas lost the person he thought he’d spend his life with. Years pass, but he's unable to resign himself to the fate of living without the love of his life. He wants nothing more than to get Noah back. He was raised to take what he wants, and he's determined to obtain it. Will he succeed or will the past devour them?"]

I was honestly, excepting a loooooot more angst and push-back and lack-of-trust in this one. And a miscommunication in the third act that would have led to an almost-break up. Don't get me wrong, I'm sooo glad there wasn't.

These two were so perfect and cute. Childhood best friends to lovers reunited after years apart?? Sign. Me. Up. Second chance romances plus working on yourself plus kitten cuddles?! Yes, yes, yes. 

Trigger Warnings: alcoholism, depression, suicidal thoughts, homophobia, and more.

#thenewneighbor #theflirtyneighbor #theforeverneighbor #thehideawayneighbor #thecockyneighbor #curioheights #corioheightsseries #ryecox #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Forever Neighbor (Corio Heights #3)

Another book slump. Maybe I can try to cross another author off my list instead? Here's Rye Cox's "The Forever Neighbor." It's the third book in her Corio Heights series.

["What do you do when you’re in love with your childhood friend?

For as long as Will can remember, Jason has always been his safe space, his protector. Now as adults, he doesn’t know how much longer he can hide the desire he holds for his best friend. A desire he’s too afraid to convey and so is unable to make any progress on changing their relationship status. Is it finally time to let go?

There are two things Jason loves most in the world: food and Will. They’ve gone through everything together over the years and are as close as family. As he feels his best friend begin pulling away, Jason slowly discovers that his love for Will has turned into an emotion he can’t quite grasp but is determined to understand. Can he figure out his feelings before it’s too late and he loses Will forever?"]

“ As unromantic as it sounded, love couldn’t cure everything. It made your life better, but it couldn’t make the internalized trauma magically disappear or replace your support system.” 

While I wholeheartedly agree with the above statement, it did make the novel more emotional and heart wrenching, and it made me cry.

They were absolutely perfectly together and practically ready dating, but they weren’t in a healthy place individually or together. Working out their traumas helped make them stronger people and a stronger couple.

And they were such a cute couple!!!!

Trigger Warnings: death, addition, neglectful parents, child abuse, bullying, obsession, co-dependency, processing childhood traumas, PTSD, and more 

#thenewneighbor #theflirtyneighbor #theforeverneighbor #thehideawayneighbor #thecockyneighbor #curioheights #corioheightsseries #ryecox #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Flirty Neighbor (Corio Heights #2)

Another book slump. Maybe I can try to cross another author off my list instead? Here's Rye Cox's "The Flirty Neighbor." It's the second book in her Corio Heights series.

["What do you do with a connection you can’t explain?

Ian had been burned more than once by his past relationships. After being seen as an extension of his family and not for himself, he swears off serious and dons his flirty shield to protect his heart. But as he develops a friendship with Scott, he wonders if more is possible.

Scott dealt with bullying for most of his life, leading to his lack of confidence. Now in his thirties, he struggles with his weight and image issues, but is ready to overcome the insecurities that have been drilled into him. However, he didn’t expect his personal trainer to change his life in more ways than one."]

Sunshine meets sunshine. Puppy meets flower. They were just SO flipping cute!

It wasn't slow burn, but it wasn't fast burn either. There wasn't too much angst, but there was a lot of self-doubt. They both had self-esteem and confidence issues to work towards, but within a healthy relationship (realizing they deserve one and can actually have one) and within themselves (realizing they're important and special and perfect just the way they are).

It was a deep story but without all those dark bits. There are soooome dark bits (hence the trigger warnings below), but their sweet love and utter kindness towards everyone and each other made everything so warm and fuzzy.

Trigger Warnings: bullying (off-page), body image and self-esteem issues, slightly misguided parents who mean well but micro-aggressions about weight/marriage/settling down/sexuality, and more.

#thenewneighbor #theflirtyneighbor #theforeverneighbor #thehideawayneighbor #thecockyneighbor #curioheights #corioheightsseries #ryecox #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Embracing Temptation (Sentinel Protection #2)

Laura John has three more m/m books out, so I figured I'd just binge those now. ;) "Embracing Temptation" is the second novel in her Sentinel Protection duology. 

["Love is a curse.
Been there.
Done that.
Don’t want a repeat.

I keep myself closed off, leaving that part of me in the past along with my failed marriage.

Until him.

My employee and fellow bodyguard helps me discover a new side to myself I never knew existed. But as tempting as he is, I need to stay away. There is just too much at risk if I give in.

I try to keep him at arm's length, but he doesn’t give up easily and slowly works his way into my heart. The scary part is that the more time I spend with him, the more I want him.

Is he worth taking another chance on love, or am I destined to be alone?"]

This book was so cute! It did have its angsty moments and its slower moments, but it was filled with protectiveness and spice and just that feeling of rightness. 

They were complete opposites, but they wanted the same exact things. And when they finally stopped thinking quite so hard with their heads and let their hearts lead, they figured their shit out. Then came the inevitable someone-is-in-the-hospital-almost-dying thing that Laura loves to do to us so much. THEN came the happily ever after. ;)

#fightingattraction #kissinginthesnow #embracingtemptation #sentinelprotection #sentinelprotectionseries #laurajohn #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Heartstopper: Volume Five

I always keep up to date on Alice Oseman's "Heartstopper" on Webtoon. But the paperback published edition recently came out in the US. I finally got around to reading that edition as well. Here's "Heartstopper: Volume Five."

["Boy meets boy. Boys become friends. Boys fall in love. The bestselling LGBTQ+ graphic novel about life, love, and everything that happens in between: this is the fifth volume of the much-loved Heartstopper series.

Nick and Charlie are very much in love. They've finally said those three little words, and Charlie has almost persuaded his mum to let him sleep over at Nick's house ... But with Nick going off to university next year, is everything about to change?"]

I fucking loooooove Nick and Charlie. They're sweet and supportive and communicative and happy and open and beautiful and just work. They're happy and Hallmark-y and not-perfect. That's what's perfect about Heartstopper. 

If you're well-verse in the Heartstopper universe, you know that this book and the college/love/sex struggles they have here will all end happily. If you read "Solitaire," you'll recognize Micheal (Tori's not-a-boyfriend); if you read "Nick and Charlie," you know how the end of Nick's 12th year ends. 

I'm not sure where Heartstopper will go from here (Chalrie's 12th hear and Nick's first year at uni? Nick and Charlie at uni together? Post uni life? The timeline of Nick and Charlie but graphic novel? Solitaire but graphic novel?), but I'm all here for it. After Alice's much needed and muuuuuuuch deserved break. 

Trigger Warnings: mental health struggles, eating disorders, and more.

#theheartstopperyearbook #heartstopper #heartstoppervolumeone #heartstoppervolumetwo #heartstoppervolumethree #heartstoppervolumefour #heartstoppervolumefive #aliceoseman #solitaire #nickandcharlie #thiswinter #webtoon #graphicnovel #queergraphicnovel #YAgraphicnovel #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Kissing In The Snow (Sentinel Protection #1.5)

Laura John has three more m/m books out, so I figured I'd just binge those now. ;) "Kissing In The Snow" is the next novel (#1.5) in her Sentinel Protection duology. 

["I’m not a social person.
It’s why I prefer spending my time working on engines instead of interacting with the world around me.
Yet when I saw him stranded on the side of the road as the worst storm this county has ever seen moved in, I had to stop.
Inviting a stranger into my home was never part of the plan, but the moment my eyes met his, I knew there was something different about him.
As the hours pass, I find my world changing as my walls start to crumble before my eyes.
The storm raging outside is making me question everything. Is what I’m feeling real, or will I be left with a disaster after it passes?"]

Ryan (the guy who got snuck in the snowbank) is cousins with Damon from Sentinel Protection book one. He's driving in the blizzard to try to get to Damon's wedding (which takes place in the bonus epilogue--available via #BookFunnel).

This book was sooooo flipping cute! It had that perfect combination of grump and sunshine. Plus a Christmas snowstorm. Annnd it was a fast burn (its exactly what it sounds like: the opposite of a slow burn).

Yes, they had their issues, but they made it work (duh--every book deserves a happily ever after).

#fightingattraction #kissinginthesnow #embracingtemptation #sentinelprotection #sentinelprotectionseries #laurajohn #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Fighting Attraction (Sentinel Protection #1)

Laura John has three more m/m books out, so I figured I'd just binge those now. ;) "Fighting Attraction" is the first novel in her Sentinel Protection duology. 

["I never thought I’d fall in love. I was content with my life the way it was.
Then a man came into my life like a tornado. He made me feel things I’d never felt before and completely turned me inside out.
When I was just coming to terms with my feelings for him, he got swept off the market and I lost my chance.
Life hit him hard, and now I have a second chance.
Can I push aside my insecurities and fight for our love, or am I already too late?"]

This one is deep and dark. Laura said herself that this novella has her usual heartbreak and humor, but that's its a hard read. Please keep in mind the trigger warnings below. It WAS a hard read. Everything was described out and rehashed in nightmares and panic attacks. Poor Damon.

But, bad things mean that good things are on the way. And great things came for Damon. Bruno was a fabulous friend and an even better boyfriend. They were strong together (Bruno has his own demons), and they communicated thoroughly (after a bit of angst), and they made it work because they wanted it to work. Life isn't easy, love isn't easy, but they made the road to healing as well the road to falling in love appear so.

Trigger Warnings: on-page descriptions of sexual assault, attempted rape, on-page descriptions of conversion therapy, mental health struggles, toxic parents, PTSD, and more

#fightingattraction #kissinginthesnow #embracingtemptation #sentinelprotection #sentinelprotectionseries #laurajohn #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Knox (Hunter Security #3)

This series promises some angst, and I know I'll regret it later, but I need to read some angst-y things right now. Here's Laura John's Hunter Security series. The third novel is "Knox."

["KNOX
I’m a tough-as-nails military veteran now working as a bodyguard for one of the world’s best security firms, and I’m excellent at my job. I’m also secretly in love with my brother’s best friend.
Some might call it a “crush,” but I hate that term. What I feel for Gunnar runs deeper, truer, than a simple teenage fling. I might as well have his name tattooed permanently on my heart.
When I’m suddenly forced from my home and in need of a place to stay, it’s Gunnar that offers up his spare room to me. Without any other options, and despite his constant closeness being torture, I gratefully accept.
Now I just have to keep my feelings locked up tight. I need to resign myself to only ever being in the friend zone, even if I want so much more.

GUNNAR
I’d only ever thought of Knox as being Malcolm’s younger brother. We weren’t really friends as kids, he was just there.
It wasn’t until I moved back home from overseas that I really noticed him. Long gone was the boy he used to be. Instead what I saw was all MAN; confident, attractive, and completely off-limits.
When I open my home to Knox in a pinch, it doesn’t take long for his proximity and charm to start breaking down my defenses. I can’t stay away, craving him more than I have anyone before.
Two things quickly become very clear. First, what we have runs deep—for both of us. Second, Knox is in danger, and someone’s out get him.
Now, not only do we have to worry about staying in Malcolm’s good graces, but we also have to watch our backs and keep our heads low.
Can our feelings weather the storm, or will rejection and danger tear us apart?"]

Oh wow. This book. Woooooow. I-- It was amazing. This book. Was fucking fantastic. It was the perfect balance and angst and sweet and danger and comfort and risks and spice and found family and rewards and love. It was just...it was so good. It was so so good. 

And I only almost cried (three times). That's better than full on sobbing in the living room, being judge by my family. ;)

Trigger Warnings: fire, knives, guns, time spend at hospitals, passing of a loved one, mental health issues, off page child abuse, off page domestic violence, and more.

#nixon #denver #knox #bennett #huntersecurity #huntersecurityseries #laurajohn #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks