They Wish They Were Us

I told myself last night when I was paranoid AF and wide awake that I would take a mystery break, try a romance again (my ARCs list is rapidly growing), but I saw Jessica Goodman's "They Wish They Were Us" on my TBR shelf and I thought...eh, why the hell not?

["A murder mystery set against the backdrop of an exclusive prep school on Long Island.

In Gold Coast, Long Island, everything from the expensive downtown shops to the manicured beaches, to the pressed uniforms of Jill Newman and her friends, looks perfect. But as Jill found out three years ago, nothing is as it seems.

Freshman year Jill's best friend, the brilliant, dazzling Shaila Arnold, was killed by her boyfriend. After that dark night on the beach, Graham confessed, the case was closed, and Jill tried to move on.

Now, it's Jill's senior year and she's determined to make it her best yet. After all, she's a senior and a Player--a member of Gold Coast Prep's exclusive, not-so-secret secret society. Senior Players have the best parties, highest grades and the admiration of the entire school. This is going to be Jill's year. She's sure of it.

But when Jill starts getting texts proclaiming Graham's innocence, her dreams of the perfect senior year start to crumble. If Graham didn't kill Shaila, who did? Jill vows to find out, but digging deeper could mean putting her friendships, and her future, in jeopardy."]

Holy shit. This book was traumatizing. Like fuuuuck. These Players hazed to hell and back, and they "asked" to do more. Add all of that on top of just being a teen and trying to find yourself, trying to compete in a rich ass world, and trying to survive your best friend being murdered.

Then your baby brother is being hazed, your new bff isn't acting like herself, your boyfriend is being a little too nice, your long time crush is acting like he might like you back. There's a threat from a person in power. There's a few pieces of evidence that just don't add up (stupid corrupt cops). 

And throwing everything away for the chance of truth and inner peace. 

This book was glorious. 

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