Here's E Baileu's "The Idol" It's the first novel in the Sacriligious Love duology.
["Elior Ransom has never been allowed to be just a boy. To the Covenant, he is the Vessel of Light—sacred, untouchable, born to suffer so the faithful may be redeemed. Every lash across his back, every sleepless vigil, every silent prayer is a reminder that his life does not belong to him. And when unholy longings creep into his heart—longings for touch, for warmth, for love—he punishes himself with prayer until the ache subsides… almost.
Jace Agbayani never expected his latest assignment to bring him here, deep inside the hidden compound of a cult obsessed with prophecy and purity. His mission is infiltrate, observe, and gather enough evidence to bring down Malachi Ransom, the Covenant’s leader. But when he meets Malachi’s son—the so-called Vessel—Jace sees not a holy icon, but a lonely, fragile man who has never known life beyond worship and pain.
What begins as strategy soon becomes temptation. Elior craves Jace’s kindness like forbidden fruit, even as he chastises himself for the sin of wanting. And Jace finds himself risking more than his cover with every stolen glance, every whispered word, every touch he swore he’d never give.
But in a world where devotion is power and betrayal is death, desire is the most dangerous sin of all."]
I gotta say, I was all in very, very quickly. These two had love at first sight, even if neither understood the power or consequences of that love. Elior knew what he was feeling wasn't "right" according to his father and according to the life he grew up in, but he also really started questioning how something so warm and confronting and happy and safe could be wrong. Jace knew his feelings for Elior weren't good for his case or his career, but he quickly put all of that behind him for his little cherub.
These two were cute, even if they were playing with fire (and lives). They didn't have it easy, especially Elior, who knew next to nothing about the world. And Jace probably could have, arguably, went about the last chapter with a little more tact and preparation but....let's blame the FBI on that one.
On to the next book...where I imagine myself crying.
Trigger Warnings: religious themes, cult dynamics, distorted interpretations of faith, manipulation through faith, harmful uses of doctrine, MC suffering from long-term narcissistic abuse by a parent, noncon and dubcon, psychopath, physical abuse, violence, unhealthy power dynamics, and more.
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