I Was Born For This

I love Alice Oseman, and I've started slowly reading through her novels after obsessively reading #Heartstopper so many times. 

["For Angel Rahimi, life is only about one thing: The Ark – a pop-rock trio of teenage boys who are currently taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark’s fandom has given her everything – her friendships, her dreams, her place in the world.

Jimmy Kaga-Ricci owes everything to The Ark too. He’s their frontman – and playing in a band is all he’s ever dreamed of doing. It’s just a shame that recently everything in his life seems to have turned into a bit of a nightmare.

Because that’s the problem with dreaming – eventually, inevitably, real life arrives with a wake-up call. And when Angel and Jimmy are unexpectedly thrust together, they will discover just how strange and surprising facing up to reality can be."]

My "The Ark" was the Jonas Brothers. Like Angel, they meant everything to me. They got me through so much shit in middle school and high school. Their journey and their music and seeing them persevere made me want to do the same things in my life. As Angel said so damn well: "I'm just saying there's more to fandom than 'I want to kiss a famous boy'." and "In an otherwise mediocre existence, we choose to feel passion." So, girl, I get it. Moving onto the actual book review.

So many topics covered in so many ways. From Jimmy's perspective and Angel's perspective: sexuality, identity, religion, mental health, passion, future options, etc. And yet, even though they're from two completely different backgrounds, these two had very similar opinions and dreams. 

Holy shit. This book was just like...wow. Very deep and very very dark. When both narrators have anxiety and depression and suicidal thoughts, it gets a bit hard to go on for a while. Take your time reading this one, folks, yeah?

Every time Angel spoke about being in a fandom, I was like "yas, girl, that's exactly it." And every time Jimmy spoke about fans, I was like "shit, bro, that's not how everyone is, chill" (but he did eventually chill--mostly).

I loved how there was like zero romance in this book. It was touched on briefly by the main characters (but in the "wow, I really want to fall in love one day so that I can be important to at least one person" kind of way--which, same) and a little more in-depth by the secondary characters. But it just. like, wasn't part of the plot or sub-plot, which was super refreshing. 

And the fact that Jimmy is trans (not a spoiler, its in like the first four chapters, if not his first chapter), but it's just a fact and we move on from it? The fact that its just like not a part of the plot at all? It's so damn...amazing. It's just there. He's just who he is (there is some transphobia talk in one or two chapters, but that's really it). It doesn't effect the plot AT ALL (like how Dan Levy wanted his character in "Schitt's Creek" to be queer but the plot to not really revolve around that at all, because it doesn't matter at the end of the day, who he loves--except it's Patrick and I'll always love them--because his queerness isn't the only aspect of his personality). And I live for that.

Trigger Warnings: anxiety, social anxiety, transphobia, homophobia, suicide, suicidal language, bigoted language, depression, lying, stalking, paparazzi, media throwing things out of proportion and generally just wanting reads/likes, etc

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