Radio Silence

I love Alice Oseman, and I've started slowly reading through her novels after obsessively reading #Heartstopper so many times. For this one, I'd recommend reading "Solitaire" first (the ending of that book coincides with the beginning of this book) (Aled is a semi-reoccurring minor character in "Heartstopper"). 

["What if everything you set yourself up to be was wrong?

Frances has been a study machine with one goal. Nothing will stand in her way; not friends, not a guilty secret – not even the person she is on the inside. Then Frances meets Aled, and for the first time she's unafraid to be herself.

So when the fragile trust between them is broken, Frances is caught between who she was and who she longs to be. Now Frances knows that she has to confront her past. To confess why Carys disappeared…

Frances is going to need every bit of courage she has."]

I totally and completely understand France when she describes herself in two different people. School Frances and Normal Frances. I was like that. I was a completely different person at school than I was at home/with my family/who I wanted to be in the future. And it's lonely as fuck. It's still lonely as fuck. But at least we have each other and people out there who get it and books to keep us company.

"Radio Silence" was so fucking beautiful. It was tragically dark and depressing and so amazing. It was about found family and passions in life and being safe (or finding safety and learning that it is out there, you just have to trust it). It was about finding what you love and protecting it at all costs (and, at the same time, not being able to).

So far, this is my favorite of Alice's novels. It was so fucking amazing and beautiful and I know I used those words already (and do again below), but holy shit.

This book did make me feel...a lot of things. Honestly, I felt like complete shit during most of this book (because I knew what was happening to Aled and couldn't tell Frances and couldn't help him or her or anyone). And after reading it, especially when School Frances started returning and Aled started withdrawing (spoiler alert--but not, if you read the blurb). It was very dark and depressing. It was lonely and scary. It was fucking beautiful. But be prepared to cry (I did--a fuck ton).

Now I want to paint a galaxy mural on my ceiling. 

Trigger Warnings: depression, anxiety, social anxiety, anxiety about the future, the future in general, bullying, homophobia, blackmail, domestic abuse, doggy death, manipulation, self-harm, etc

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