Goodbye, July!

I feel like July was just a continuation of June. It took forever and not much happened. Except it was hot and humid as hell.

  

2023 Resolutions:
     (1) Write [almost] every day...or at least think about it
     (2) Don't stop reading
     (3) Make something (e.g. a memories)
     (4) Share love of books/writing
     (5) Be kinder to myself

(1) *Crickets*

(2) Books read this month: 32 (might get one more in there before midnight though).

(3) July Memories: We had a few family dinners. My mom and I went to a Wildflower Festival. I read some good books and took some good naps. Not much of anything (maybe a bit of the reasons for the existential crisis slash major boredom feelings).

(4) Posts this month (including this one): 33.

(5) Another not sick month. Mental Health got a little... existential crises-y. 

Anyone still holding onto their resolutions?

Any exciting August reads?
Anything I should check out?

#newyearsresolutions #goodbyejuly #helloaugust #hello2023 #keeplearning #writeeveryday #dontstopreading #makesomething #shareloveofbooks #bekindertoself #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Lies We Tell

I needed something different. I started a book that had good potential but didn't finish it. I started this one ("The Lies We Tell" by Alex J. Adams), and at first, I wasn't sure (60% in I still wasn't sure), but it really started to pick up between 65-70%.

["Nate
My marriage was done. The criminal I was chasing was giving me the runaround. I was doubting everything, wondering where my life was going.
I’d given everything to the job, but it had cost me everything, including my family and my home.
When Oliver Farnham gave me the lead I’d been looking for, I couldn't pass up the chance to put a murderer behind bars.
I’d promised to protect him, and I always kept my word. If he would give up his life as he knew it, to get justice for a man he never knew, I’m sure I could do what it took to keep him safe.
What I didn’t expect was to love him and if that meant giving my life to keep him alive, it was the price I’d pay. 

Ollie
How much was my life worth? That was the question I asked myself. Was it worth losing everything for? Damn right it was. I’d give up my identity if it meant keeping ME safe.
Witnessing a murder and running away from the life I knew, it should have been a difficult decision, and if my ‘boyfriend’ knew that I was the one that had given him up, I’d have a target on my back for the rest of my very short life.
Then I met Nate. He’d sworn to protect me in exchange for my testimony, but the closer we became, the more I realized I’d give it all up to be with him.
I just wondered if he’d do the same for me. "]

I appreciated the POV from Ollie's perspective a lot more. Yes, he went back and forth from bratty to serious, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt (trauma). Nate was just...he was a little flat. I honestly didn't 100% like his characters.

The two of them together? The protector and the distressed? The witness and the cop? The age gap? The bi-awakening? The life-or-death situations? That was interesting and dynamic and developed. I finished this book for the plot alone, basically (and the romance).

But I'm not entirely opposed to checking out some of Alex's other stuff in the future. ;)

Trigger warnings: abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, attempted murder, murder, violence, death threats, kidnapping, torture, assault, and more

#thelieswetell #alexjadams #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Nicked: Nordin (The Foster Brothers #4)

More knocking authors off my to-binge list (or at least nearing the end of this author's list). Here's Nora Phoenix's The Foster Brothers series. The fourth novel is "Nicked: Nordin."

["The stupidest thing a con artist can ever do is fall for the man who’s trying to catch him…

Nordin likes to think of himself as a modern-day Robin Hood, redistributing the wealth from those who don’t deserve it to those who do. It’s fun, it’s exciting, and it makes good use of his talents and gifts.

Unfortunately, not everyone sees it like that, including FBI agent Tavin Donley. He calls Nordin a con artist, which is, like, such a rude term. Worse, he’s determined to catch Nordin.

That in itself is already a problem, but much worse is the fact that the chemistry between them is explosive. It always has been. And even though they’re adversaries, they can’t keep their hands off each other.

But when fire burns that hot, someone will get burned…"]

My heart was already breaking for Nordin in the previous book, describing his (romantic) predicament as "It feels like I'm being ripped apart, and I don't know what to do."

This was love at first sight...10+ years prior to when either were in a place where anything could actually happen. And in that 10+ years, things only grew more and more complicated for them. Yeah, you remember that thing about Nora and angst I said yesterday? She killed me with this one. The mutual pining and continual heartbreak and the Romeo and Juliet thing? Hell, t took me 3x as long to read this to give myself breaks and to remind myself to breath. Worth. It. ;)

Trigger Warnings: foster care, child neglect, child abuse, sexual abuse of minors (off page), death of a parent, mild on-page violence, and more

#markedmyron #jiltedjaren #hiredhadley #loathedlagan #nickednordin #thefosterbrothers #thefosterbrothersseries #noraphoenix #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Loathed: Lagan (The Foster Brothers #3)

More knocking authors off my to-binge list (or at least nearing the end of this author's list). Here's Nora Phoenix's The Foster Brothers series. The third novel is "Loathed: Lagan."

["When mutual hate turns into something else entirely...

Lagan absolutely despises his law professor, Killian Evans. He’s an arrogant, snobby know-it-all who looks down on anyone who’s not up to his standards.

If only he wasn’t so damn hot.
If only he didn’t make Lagan want an entirely different lesson from him…

Killian absolutely despises his student, Lagan Foster. He’s a lazy, flying-by-the seat-of-his-pants C+ student who barely can be bothered to pay attention in class.

If only he wasn’t so damn hot.
If only Killian didn’t want to teach him an entirely different lesson…"]

This one was also a lot. They both had trauma and pasts that clashed with the obvious chemistry between the two of them, breaking their own hearts in the process. They were each other's rocks for one weekend, one perfect weekend filled with so much trust and lust and nothingness that they fell. hard. But there was still secrets and walls. And hearts to break. Somehow, I didn't cry (or sob), but it was a close one.

Obviously, they made it work, after those secrets came out and the walls were forced down, and after they almost lost each other (really, how didn't I cry?).

Trigger warnings: foster care, mentions of suicidal thoughts, bullying (prologue only), loss of parent, brief mentions of mistreatment and abuse, and more

#markedmyron #jiltedjaren #hiredhadley #loathedlagan #nickednordin #thefosterbrothers #thefosterbrothersseries #noraphoenix #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Hired: Hadley (The Foster Brothers #2)

More knocking authors off my to-binge list (or at least nearing the end of this author's list). Here's Nora Phoenix's The Foster Brothers series. The second novel is "Hired: Hadley."

["Sebastian LeClerc is richer than Midas. He’s also a grumpy a**hole, a playboy, and the world’s worst boss. At least, according to Hadley, who was crazy enough to take the job as Sebastian’s PA.

Big mistake. Huge.

Sebastian may look like Richard Gere and be equally charming in public, but it’s all an act. Hadley should know, as he’s one of the few people who gets to see the real Sebastian.

Except Sebastian does seem to appreciate Hadley, calling him his sunshine. And when something nice comes out of his mouth on occasion, Hadley’s heart is all aflutter.

Oh no.
It can’t be.
Has Hadley fallen for his boss?"]

Nora is so utterly fantastic at balancing the angst. It's never too much to cause second-hand anxiety, but it's just enough to keep you on the edge of your seat.

And these two, they tested that. I mean, we all knew that they were falling in love wellll before they even had sex for the first time (which they did...many times before they really realized they fell in love--with lost of drama and gifts and health scares and knitting in between).

Trigger warnings: foster care, drug use (off page), childhood abuse (off page), and more

#markedmyron #jiltedjaren #hiredhadley #loathedlagan #nickednordin #thefosterbrothers #thefosterbrothersseries #noraphoenix #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Jilted: Jaren (The Foster Brothers #1)

More knocking authors off my to-binge list (or at least nearing the end of this author's list). Here's Nora Phoenix's The Foster Brothers series. The first novel is "Jilted: Jaren."

["Years of pining.
Years of keeping his distance.
Years of lusting after Jaren, the one man Reid couldn’t have.

Because Jaren is straight.

Worse, he’s engaged to Reid’s sister. In other words: he’s off limits. Impossible.

But a day before the wedding, she calls it off, leaving Jaren with nowhere to go.

So what’s a man to do? Well, offer Jaren a place to stay, of course
A shoulder to cry on
A bed to sleep in.

And maybe someone to share that bed with?"]

This book was so cute! I mean, like, sure, it was rough for the first few chapters. But Jaren always felt safe and protected and cared for by Reid, well before he found out about Reid's feelings. And after? Well, that ended with some happily ever after. ;)

It was a bit of a slow burn, but you can expect Jaren to get over his almost-marriage ending, realize he's not as straight as he though, and develop feelings for Reid in just one week.

Trigger warnings: foster system, death of a parent, and more 

#markedmyron #jiltedjaren #hiredhadley #loathedlagan #nickednordin #thefosterbrothers #thefosterbrothersseries #noraphoenix #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Marked: Myron (The Foster Brothers #0.5)

More knocking authors off my to-binge list (or at least nearing the end of this author's list). Here's Nora Phoenix's The Foster Brothers series. It starts with "Marked: Myron," a prequel.

["A crazy bet has tattoo legend Abel offering his big, hairy butt to the one man he can't get out of his head: newcomer Myron.

For a tattoo, though anything else is definitely on the table as well.

Half his age and size and bossy as can be, Myron should not be Abel's type, if only because he's a man and Abel has always thought he was straight. Yeah, not so much. Myron has gotten under his skin, and now Abel wants him on his skin as well...and in his life.

What starts as a drunken bet becomes a scorching hot encounter. Myron makes it clear that's all he wants, but Abel needs more. He'll do whatever it takes to tame Myron, even if it means letting Myron be on top of things..."]

The blurb is purposely ambiguous. I mean, when they're drunk, they mean a tattoo on his virgin (as in non-tattooed) ass. HOWever! When they sit down and talk about it, when Abel reveals his not-so-straight feelings, the conversations flows towards a different kind of virginity. 

This was a very, very cute story. A bear and a twink (don't call Myron a twink to his face) but in a little less than stereotypical roles. Abel is totally and completely smitten and gone over Myron. Myron...takes some convincing. But he gets there! HEA guaranteed.

I kinda wish we met more of the Brothers in this first book (we only met Reid--who's book is the first one). Their connections, their histories. Is Myron part of the brothers or just a friend of the found family? I guess we'll see.

#markedmyron #jiltedjaren #hiredhadley #loathedlagan #nickednordin #thefosterbrothers #thefosterbrothersseries #noraphoenix #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Office Nemesis Calamity (The Frat Brats of Santa Barbara #7)

Another day, another author crossed off my to-binge list. This is Hayden Hall's Frat Brats of Santa Barbara series. The seventh novel is "The Office Nemesis Calamity."

["I hate his pretty lips. I hate how good they taste.

Theo
He’s the most infuriating, immature frat brat I’ve ever had the misfortune of coming across. Again.
He’s also the guy I dumped in high-school when I realized I was straight after all. And he just so happens to be the intern at his dad’s company; the very same one I work for.
A terrible misunderstanding puts Justin Lewis into my care. I’m supposed to teach him how his father’s business works. But he’s determined to do it the hard way.
Four years ago, after breaking his heart, I experienced what Justin’s hatred could do. He ruined the final weeks of high-school for me. He scared me into skipping my prom night.
No more.
I’m not that frightened kid anymore. I’ve come far without anyone’s help and I’m not letting one begrudging ex ruin all that I’ve achieved.
If only he wasn’t so irresistible when he pouted.
If only I could stop leaning in to catch his scent.
If only I wasn’t about to make the same mistake all over again.

Justin
It was supposed to be simple; do the internship, make Dad happy, and go away to lick my wounds. I’m sick of the way I live, but a terrible breakup from four years ago still haunts me.
Until I start my internship and discover there’s Theo Wright in my office. Or am I an his office? Depends on who you ask.
The guy hates me and I know why. But I hate him just as much. He wrecked me for good when he turned suddenly straight after one encounter and I never trusted another guy since.
If I’m going to earn my ticket out, I need to do this boring internship. And Theo just so happens to be the only thing to help me pass the time. Annoying him is my new, favorite hobby.
Until I take it a step too far.
And he blushes like a maiden.
And my heart nearly explodes.
Maybe there’s more to him than I let myself believe. The way he looks at me while we work is almost enough to give me a glimmer of hope. If I was foolish enough, I might try something that could burn down in flames again.
Oh, who am I kidding? I’ve always been foolish enough."]

Let's just call this demisexual-awakening. Because, that's what it was and is (spoiler alert I guess--for those super interested in those). Or pansexual. Hayden used pan (attracted to the person, not the gender), but I see Thro more as demi (needing a connection first). Or like...both? Though that intense-as-fuck internalized homophobia didn't help (or the homophobic father) Theo figure himself out at all.

Either way, these two were explosive. And once they kissed again? Like, fuck. Que fireworks and butterflies and all that jazz. Then some embarassment. Then some confrontation. Then some...well, they finally started to actually communicate at that point (and not communicate at that point..if you know what I mean).

Very, very cute and fun (and a lot less angsty than I assumed) end to the Frat Brats of Santa Barbara series.

#thelastsummervacation #thefakeboyfrienddebacle #theroyalroommatedisaster #thewrongtwindilemma #thebitterrivalfiasco #theaccidentalhoneymooncatastrophe #thebedroomcoachagreement #theofficenemesiscalamity #fratbratsofsantabarbara #fratbratsofsantabarbaraseries #haydenhall #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Bedroom Coach Agreement (The Frat Brats of Santa Barbara #6)

Another day, another author crossed off my to-binge list. This is Hayden Hall's Frat Brats of Santa Barbara series. The sixth novel is "The Bedroom Coach Agreement."

["We’re the least likely couple you’ll ever see. Until the lights go out.

Parker
My brother’s best friend has a secret. And I just happen to know what he does in a hidden downtown apartment at night. In front of a camera. Sculpted like a Greek god, Dayton soon becomes all I want.
But a guy like me could never hope to catch his attention. I’ve never been with anyone. I’ve never even kissed a guy. Hell, not even the strangers on dating apps want to take me out. And my brother’s growing worry that I’ll get my heart broken – or worse – is only making things more complicated.
There’s no pity in Dayton’s eyes when he decides to be my only ally. And there’s no prank behind the spectacular first date I ask him to take me to. Before I know it, I’m doing the very thing my big brother wants to prevent.
I’m falling in love with a guy who claims to be incapable of loving anyone back.

Dayton
My best friend has a younger brother. And he just happens to be a curious and inexperienced freshman. Ginger, sexy, and determined to have the time of his life this semester, Parker quickly becomes my newest obsession.
He wants his first date to be something special. And grand gestures are my specialty. I know all the pitfalls of giving away your V-card. Nobody’s first time should be as cold and careless as mine. A toss of a coin decides it: I am his dating coach. And more.
There’s only one little hiccough in our plan. His big brother must never find out.
Except, when Parker’s soul collides with mine in a night of exploration and delights, I risk more than losing my certified player status. I risk losing the only friendship I preserved through my entire life.
I’m not sure if that’s a risk I’m willing to take."]

This book was a fast one. Before you knew it, they were on that date. Which was probably 50% into the book. And right around that time, they were already in love. Though, they might have been in love (or almost there) by that first date anyway. 

And the explosive scene where Parker's brother finds out about the two of them? (because you know that's in there). So. Fucking. Good. 

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I fucking love the brother's-best-friend tropes.

#thelastsummervacation #thefakeboyfrienddebacle #theroyalroommatedisaster #thewrongtwindilemma #thebitterrivalfiasco #theaccidentalhoneymooncatastrophe #thebedroomcoachagreement #theofficenemesiscalamity #fratbratsofsantabarbara #fratbratsofsantabarbaraseries #haydenhall #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Accidental Honeymoon Catastrophe (The Frat Brats of Santa Barbara #5)

Another day, another author crossed off my to-binge list. This is Hayden Hall's Frat Brats of Santa Barbara series. The fifth novel is "The Accidental Honeymoon Catastrophe."

["Remember not to get drunk married to your best friend. It’s not rocket science.

Stefan
It was supposed to be a fun weekend trip with all my friends. The next thing I know, a splitting headache is waking me up on a plane to who knows where and there’s a ring on my finger.
What?!
Next to me is Marco, my best friend in the world, an old flame and… My husband? His ring matches mine and the marriage certificate in my handbag definitely has both our names on it.
This is ridiculous. We agreed, years ago, that our friendship was more important than fooling around. We can’t go down that road again, even if he’s the only guy I ever wanted. Funny, smart, drop-dead gorgeous, Marco is off-limits. He deserves better.
But a string of terrible coincidences will turn our romantic honeymoon into a catastrophe that will either bring us together or break us forever.

Marco
I’ve been in love with my hot best friend since the day I met him. To find myself somehow married to him should make me way happier than it does. Yet it can’t; it was just a silly dare.
Our friends offered to send us on a crazy adventure. All we had to do was get married.
But no matter how much I want Stefan to be with me, he’s got other ideas. He says we’re incompatible; he wants us to be best friends forever; he wants a divorce.
And me? I’ve never even learned how to stand up for myself, let alone change somebody’s mind. Least of all a mind as stubborn as Stefan’s.
We’re stuck together for two weeks of honeymooning in the most romantic resort on this side of the world. If that doesn’t make him fall in love with me, my last hope will die.
Maybe this marriage is, and always has been, a total joke."]

These two are idiots. I mean, honestly. They've been basically in a relationship and completely in love for six years. It takes a "fake" marriage in Vegas and a real honeymoon in paradise for them to realize it. Oh, and a third-act-break-up (is it a break up if they're still not together-together by the third act?). Too much alcohol, a newlyweds-style board game, hot tub fun, and a Fuckboy confrontation later and they finally figured it out. Too bad there wasn't any Told-You-So scene.

#thelastsummervacation #thefakeboyfrienddebacle #theroyalroommatedisaster #thewrongtwindilemma #thebitterrivalfiasco #theaccidentalhoneymooncatastrophe #thebedroomcoachagreement #theofficenemesiscalamity #fratbratsofsantabarbara #fratbratsofsantabarbaraseries #haydenhall #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Bitter Rival Fiasco (The Frat Brats of Santa Barbara #4)

Another day, another author crossed off my to-binge list. This is Hayden Hall's Frat Brats of Santa Barbara series. The fourth novel is "The Bitter Rival Fiasco."

["I fell in love with the enemy. Twice.

Hudson
For my twenty-first, I threw a masquerade party and met the most exciting guy on the planet, dressed as a fallen angel. Then, I never saw him again.
And just when I think my life is perfect, in walks my nemesis, Tate Anderson.
The guy’s got no finesse. He looks down on everyone, especially me. So, when the mischievous wannabe matchmaker of a professor forces me into a project with none other than Tate, I seriously consider dropping out.
Except, the more time I spend with him, and the more we growl and bark at each other, the tighter my chest feels around him.
To put him out of my mind and escape the feelings I’d kept at bay for so long, I keep throwing the biggest parties in the city. Like some modern version of Jay Gatsby, I hope to run into my mysterious fallen angel, but he’s ever so elusive.
Until he shows up again.
And I take his mask off…

Tate
My life sucks but don’t make a mistake thinking I would let anyone know.
Especially not Hudson Blackwood. That guy’s gloating enough already. Ugh… He laughs too much, pretends he’s so cool, nothing really bothers him.
Well, except the fact he’s stuck with me on a semester-long project. But I’m stuck with him just as much. He’s also hot as hell and knows it, which makes him infinitely more annoying.
And if that’s not enough, my stepmother is spending the last of my late dad’s fortune on her two sons and I have to study every waking moment to keep my scholarship.
The only escape I’ve had since coming to Santa Barbara were the masquerade parties a tall, handsome guy dressed as The Phantom keeps throwing.
Before I know it, I am hurtling into love and I hate it. I know my stepmother will uproot me again before the year is done. Besides, I don’t even know who this smoking hot Phantom is. This can only end one way, and it’s not good.
It’s just better for everyone if the masks stay on."]

fucking Cinderella meets fucking Great Gatsby. Need. I. Say. More. (also, told you Gatsby was gay--then again, I'm obviously not the only one who thinks so ;) ).

This one...was a lot. The hostility was a little misplaced and totally dragged out (then again, they're men, who were boys, who both had confusing feelings for one another). Then add the stepmother into the mix and all of her shit (please see trigger warnings below). Plus, well, a lot. I don't want to spoil too much, so you're just going to have to read it yourself. ;)

Trigger Warnings: blackmail, abuse, emotional manipulation, financial manipulation, homophobia, death of a parent, and more

#thelastsummervacation #thefakeboyfrienddebacle #theroyalroommatedisaster #thewrongtwindilemma #thebitterrivalfiasco #theaccidentalhoneymooncatastrophe #thebedroomcoachagreement #theofficenemesiscalamity #fratbratsofsantabarbara #fratbratsofsantabarbaraseries #haydenhall #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Wrong Twin Dilemma (The Frat Brats of Santa Barbara #3)

Another day, another author crossed off my to-binge list. This is Hayden Hall's Frat Brats of Santa Barbara series. The third novel is "The Wrong Twin Dilemma."

["He's as off-limits as a guy can be. So why do I want no one but him?

London
Of all the guys in the world, I just had to fall hopelessly and irreparably in love with my twin sister's boyfriend. No amount of parties with happy endings can put him out of my mind.
Gabriel is also a dork, but he's a hot as all hell dork. Somehow, he's both a nerd and a jock and he pushes all my buttons. But he's straight. He shouldn't attract me the way he does. And did I mention they've been dating for two years? Yeah… They're all but married.
I'm officially the worst brother – and human, let's not pretend – in the history of ever.
And when my genius of a sister comes up with a bulletproof plan to help me pass my exams by convincing Gabriel to tutor me, I discover that my big, beautiful dork hides a secret even more ruinous than my own. The way he looks at me when we're alone is almost all I've ever dreamed of.
But how many hearts will shatter if I take what I want? Is it not better that I let my love die quietly?
I hate wanting him.

Gabriel
I'm a hot mess and he's off limits. We are a disaster in the making.
I can't say no to tutoring London. It would look like I'm hiding something, which I'm totally not. But if I were hiding something, it would not be easy to keep it hidden once the lessons begin and we're alone.
He crawls under my skin before I know it. He fills my mind with his rosy lips, high cheekbones, and sculpted muscles. His male muscles, which I totally don't like. Except, when I'm alone, letting him into my thoughts is a comfort I desperately need.
The more I'm with him, the more I see I might be dating the wrong twin. But there's no easy way out of it. There's no happy ending for anyone here. Unless...
Unless I do what I fear the most and own up to the truth: London is all I ever wanted."]

Another fantastic book. Which, might I add, had zero cheating and happily ever afters all around. Annnnd, it wasn't slow burn. All good things. All things that should make you want to read this book.

Gabriel was confused as hell for the first few chapters, tried to figure a few things out, and got yelled at (but don't worry, Elle sorted shit out). London was piney as fuck for the first few chapters, tried to ignore his feelings, and yelled a bit (but don't worry, Ell sorted shit out here, too).

More Fuckboys, more homophobic basically-millionaires, more found families, more Fuckboys falling in love, more happily ever afters. ;) 

#thelastsummervacation #thefakeboyfrienddebacle #theroyalroommatedisaster #thewrongtwindilemma #thebitterrivalfiasco #theaccidentalhoneymooncatastrophe #thebedroomcoachagreement #theofficenemesiscalamity #fratbratsofsantabarbara #fratbratsofsantabarbaraseries #haydenhall #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Royal Roommate Disaster (The Frat Brats of Santa Barbara #2)

Another day, another author crossed off my to-binge list. This is Hayden Hall's Frat Brats of Santa Barbara series. The second novel is "The Royal Roommate Disaster."

["My crown never weighed as heavy as when I had to leave the guy I love.

Mateo
My life is nothing like a fairytale. Weighed down by duty and constantly watched, I hope to find a little freedom at Highgate.
Nobody knows who I really am; the Andalonian Heir Apparent. Not even the embarrassingly handsome Joshua Sterling.
He makes living seem easy. He makes falling in love effortless. He makes me believe in fairytales.
But the price of falling in love with an American boy is steep. The duty I’ve carried my entire life — the duty that had kept me away from taking a risk and living my best — reminds me that we’re nothing but a passing fancy.
With every lie I speak, I bury myself deeper. Whenever I miss a chance to tell him who I am, I lose him a little more. And when I love him the most, a disaster strikes. My lies catch up with me and I risk losing more than just my crown. I risk losing the best guy I’ve ever met.
A prince should not need a knight in shining armor. But this prince wants nothing else.

Joshua
Trailed by his bodyguards and deliciously strange, Mateo Garcia is like nobody I’ve ever crossed paths with. My reputation isn’t exaggerated. I’ve crossed paths with plenty of hot guys. Not a single one of them looked past what I was ready to show. Not like Mateo.
His enigmatic presence tempts me to share my deepest fears and sweetest secrets. His innocence makes me want to be more than just a one-time fling.
Here’s a guy who could love me, I think. Here’s a guy I could love back just the same.
But when he touches my wildest desires and when the promise of a little happiness is too sweet to resist, I discover that he’s nothing like what he said. He is a prince suffocated by tradition and expectations. And what does that make me? A rebellious experiment and a college flame.
Mateo taught me how to fall in love. Then, he taught me how badly a heartbreak hurts.
Maybe I’m better off living the way I used to. Maybe a pretty face and a hot body is all I’m worth. But his departure rips a hole in my chest that no amount of hookups could fill."]

This book was SOOO good! I mean, yes, we all knew that they would break up and be heart broken and that I would probably cry. But they fell so...sweetly. 

It was about reassurances and trust. It was about being yourself and someone liking that person. It was about the fantasy of That person, that next person you see, that next person you go on a first date with, That person being your ever after. It was about a soft hearted and kind as fuck Fuckboy who just wanted to be wanted more than once. It was about a sweet and hopeful Prince who knew there was a clock on his ever after here in America. 

Spoiler alert: they both got all of that and so much more. ;)

#thelastsummervacation #thefakeboyfrienddebacle #theroyalroommatedisaster #thewrongtwindilemma #thebitterrivalfiasco #theaccidentalhoneymooncatastrophe #thebedroomcoachagreement #theofficenemesiscalamity #fratbratsofsantabarbara #fratbratsofsantabarbaraseries #haydenhall #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Fake Boyfriend Debacle (The Frat Brats of Santa Barbara #1)

Another day, another author crossed off my to-binge list. This is Hayden Hall's Frat Brats of Santa Barbara series. The first official novel is "The Fake Boyfriend Debacle."

["We think we're fooling everyone with our fake relationship, but maybe we are the only fools around.

Caleb
Nobody ever looks past the mask I wear. Nobody bothers to scratch the surface. Not until I meet Jayden Harris, the adorably bossy scholarship student with a razor-sharp focus and an unbreakable determination to be the best of us all.
He says he doesn’t have time for dating. He says I’m just a player. Yet every chance we get, we orbit one another. If I could prove to him that I’m worth falling in love with, he might change his mind.
But asking him to be my fake boyfriend for a massive family gathering probably wasn’t my greatest idea. Dad is tearing us apart and my will to fight for control over my life is fading. My plan is ruined.
We’re a lost cause, but I just…can’t…let him go.

Jayden
It was just a one-time thing. And then a two-time thing. And a three-time thing… Before I know it, I’m in his fancy car, heading to the Wine Country for an extended weekend. My mission? Be the loving boyfriend you bring home to meet the parents.
I’m risking my scholarship and my future at the elite Highgate Academy for a charming stranger in need of a boyfriend. Why? I wish I could tell you. All I know is that Caleb’s funny, hot as hell, and has the most adorable secret ever.
But there’s more to him than I imagined. The wealth he enjoys traps him; his father controls him. And he thinks I’m the key to his freedom.
I’m doing my best to convince everyone that we’re a couple.
But maybe I’d be wise to remind myself that we are not."]

This book was so cute! I mean, they were half in love and fully obsessed with each other even before the fake dating "debacle" (can you even call it fake dating when they want to be dating but life seems just a little too complicated and complex and difficult for it?). They were so cute together. They supported each other with just looks and smiles. They shared secrets and dreams. 

And there wasn't any third-act break up. There was a small...debacle and miscommunication, but it was minor and very quickly fixed. As was the fake in their fake dating situation.

#thelastsummervacation #thefakeboyfrienddebacle #theroyalroommatedisaster #thewrongtwindilemma #thebitterrivalfiasco #theaccidentalhoneymooncatastrophe #thebedroomcoachagreement #theofficenemesiscalamity #fratbratsofsantabarbara #fratbratsofsantabarbaraseries #haydenhall #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Chef's Kiss

I can't quite remember where I saw "Chef's Kiss," but I think it was on IG. It's a graphic novel by Jarrett Melendez, Bianca Brine, Hank Jones, and  Hassan Ostmane-Elhaou.

["Now that college is over, English graduate Ben Cook is on the job hunt looking for something…anything…related to his passion for reading and writing. But interview after interview, hiring committee after hiring committee, Ben soon learns getting the dream job won’t be as easy as he thought. Proofreading? Journalism? Copywriting? Not enough experience. It turns out he doesn’t even have enough experience to be a garbage collector! But when Ben stumbles upon a “Now Hiring—No Experience Necessary” sign outside a restaurant, he jumps at the chance to land his first job. Plus, he can keep looking for a writing job in the meantime. He’s actually not so bad in the kitchen, but he will have to pass a series of cooking tests to prove he’s got the culinary skills to stay on full-time. But it’s only temporary…right? 

When Ben begins developing a crush on Liam, one of the other super dreamy chefs at the restaurant, and when he starts ditching his old college friends and his old writing job plans, his career path starts to become much less clear. "]

Okay, 1) this is exactly how I felt (and still feel) about using/not using my degree, the degree itself, trying and failing to find jobs with said degree, and so much more.

2) I think it’s struggle and finding himself and making new friends also says a lot about life too; sometimes doing something you like is more important than adulting (the book says it better, y’all; and my brain’s tired).

3) Fucking love Watson (the pig). That is all.

This book was so cute and fun and awkward and subtlety inspirational. 

And the support system Ben has? Irreplaceable and so goals. 

Also, if you didn’t guess it by now, this contains some series #begaydofood (it’s like #begaydocrime but without the crime and with the kitchen and tattoo sleeves (because Liam’s tattoo sleeve is fucking hot, even for a graphic novel)).

It also contains (spoiler alert) some nasty parent pages. Judgey and assholey and slightly homophobic. 

#chefskiss #jarrettmelendez #biancabrine #hankjones #hassanostmaneelhaou #queergraphicnovel #YAgraphicnovel #graphicnovels #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Last Summer Vacation (The Frat Brats of Santa Barbara #0.5)

Another day, another author crossed off my to-binge list. This is Hayden Hall's Frat Brats of Santa Barbara series. It starts with a prequel, "The Last Summer Vacation," available via #BookFunnel. 

["I wanted Franklyn my entire life but never dared to speak the words. Not until an acceptance letter arrives and seals our fates. He's going to New York, I'm going to Santa Barbara. Sooner than I want, we will have a continent between us.

It's now or never. But I'm a coward."]

This book was super cute! A little too short, but it's a prequel. It was also very flow-y and poetic and like a sweet summer breeze in Italy (which is where their last summer vacation takes place ;) ). Not too too steamy, but again, it's a prequel, leading us into more steam and more romance and more HEA. 

#thelastsummervacation #thefakeboyfrienddebacle #theroyalroommatedisaster #thewrongtwindilemma #thebitterrivalfiasco #theaccidentalhoneymooncatastrophe #thebedroomcoachagreement #fratbratsofsantabarbara #fratbratsofsantabarbaraseries #haydenhall #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Blown Away (Caught Off Guard #4)

Trying to cross another author off my to-binge list (which, yes, for those of you who are following along, is my third TBR list in 24 hours--I have at least another three). Caught Off Guard is another one of Willow Thomas's series. The fourth and final book is "Blown Away."

["Benny's my best friend's younger brother and my total opposite. It's not like anything will happen between us. Right?

Benny is vivacious and fun, and I’m known on the team as the quiet and brooding one. When he asks me to watch his new dance routine, I immediately agree.

Sparks fly when Benny surprises me with a kiss, but will he still want me when he finds out what I like in bed?

Benny wants to keep our relationship a secret from his brother. I’ll do anything Benny asks, but how do I tell him that I’m falling in love with him?"]

Another best-friends-brother story. With some pool Dancing. And pining, can't forget the pining. Also, I've noticed that Willow loves the low-angst, which is helping my anxiety at the moment, so thank you.

This is the last one of Willow's books that I have to read, and what a good one to end on. All of the butterfly feelings and and sweetness mixed with all of the hot steam. The trust and the support. The love and protectiveness. Very excellent ending to the series (at least I think it's the end--though there are more characters in this world who need HEAs so, I'm not sure). 

#boltfromtheblue #unexpected #knockedforsix #doubletake #blownaway #caughtoffguard #caughtoffguardseries #willowthomas #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Double Take (Caught Off Guard #3)

Trying to cross another author off my to-binge list (which, yes, for those of you who are following along, is my third TBR list in 24 hours--I have at least another three). Caught Off Guard is another one of Willow Thomas's series. The third book is "Double Take."

["Falling in love with my straight best friend is not the smartest thing I’ve ever done. It’s not as if he can ever love me back. Right?

Zeke has been my best friend since we were kids, and I’ve been in love with him the whole time. Even moving a thousand miles away for college doesn’t make my feelings go away.

When Zeke and my brother get into a rough situation, they turn to me. I will do anything to help them. I don’t care if it means I’ll get hurt in the long run.

After we share a scorching kiss under the mistletoe, I realize Zeke might not be as straight as I thought. Does this mean I have a chance for something I’ve only ever dreamed about?"]

There was some series lack of communication in this one (in a good way). I mean, if they would have just talked about their mutual feelings, the mutual pining wouldn't have been so heartbreaking. Sure, they eventually figured it out, but after a mistletoe kiss, some ghosting, some not-actually-as-talked-out-as-you-think-Tyler steamy time, some overly-dramatic (in a good way) third act antagonism, they finally had their HEA. ;)

#boltfromtheblue #unexpected #knockedforsix #doubletake #blownaway #caughtoffguard #caughtoffguardseries #willowthomas #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Knocked For Six (Caught Off Guard #2)

Trying to cross another author off my to-binge list (which, yes, for those of you who are following along, is my third TBR list in 24 hours--I have at least another three). Caught Off Guard is another one of Willow Thomas's series. The second book is "Knocked For Six."

["No hooking up with teammates. We can’t stand each other so it should be simple. Right?

My best friend just got expelled and the coach has already filled his spot with someone who lacks passion for the game. Hockey means everything to me. I’m not going to let him ruin my chances at playing in the NHL.

After a blow up during a game, we have no choice but to take part in team bonding. Every time he looks at me with his fiery green eyes, sparks fly. Especially when I find out he’s never been kissed.

One taste has me tossing the rules aside and needing more of him. It’s OK though. It’s not as if we’re going to catch feelings…"]

Enemies to lovers. Hockey romance. Low angst. HEA.

Surprisingly, the angst was pretty low. That blow up was actually two, but it was kinda small and the first one was a misunderstanding of sorta. And the kiss happened pretty quickly. As did the steam. And the happily ever after.

I, honestly, really liked these two. I would have looooved to read a full-length novel of the two of them, a little more slow burn and a little more angst (and a lot more steam ;) ).

#boltfromtheblue #unexpected #knockedforsix #doubletake #blownaway #caughtoffguard #caughtoffguardseries #willowthomas #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Unexpected (Caught Off Guard #1.5)

Trying to cross another author off my to-binge list (which, yes, for those of you who are following along, is my third TBR list in 24 hours--I have at least another three). Caught Off Guard is another one of Willow Thomas's series. The next book is a novella available on #BookFunnel" "Unexpected."

["Nico
Going to a hockey game to ogle the hot players, the last thing I expect is to fall for one.
Literally.
I can’t be falling for the hockey hottie already.
Can I?

Jensen
A cute soccer star stumbling onto my lap makes up for being benched.
We just met.
I shouldn’t want to keep him.
But I do."]

This short story was soooooo fucking cute!!! Giggle giddy cute. No words cute.

Speaking of cute, their meet-cute is just…goals. If I could trip and fall into someone’s lap, only to fall in love. Wow. Very jealous at the moment, but also, more fangirl squeals.  

Seriously, even if you don’t want to read the series, take 20 minutes and read this; you won’t regret it. 

#boltfromtheblue #unexpected #knockedforsix #doubletake #blownaway #caughtoffguard #caughtoffguardseries #willowthomas #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Bolt From The Blue (Caught Off Guard #1)

Trying to cross another author off my to-binge list (which, yes, for those of you who are following along, is my third TBR list in 24 hours--I have at least another three). Caught Off Guard is another one of Willow Thomas's series. The first novel is "Bolt From The Blue."

["Milo
I am tired of my friends trying to set me up with whatever guy they feel is suitable, regardless of my feelings. So naturally I resort to throwing myself at the first cute guy I see and ask him to pretend to be my boyfriend.
I’m happy but shocked when the hockey jock agrees to play along and help me out.
If my friends won't listen to my words, maybe they’ll back off once they see I’m in a relationship.
Shame it’s not real because Austin is everything I want.

Austin
I have had a crush on the barista at my local coffee shop since I first laid eyes on him.
When Milo serves me my drink with a kiss on the cheek, it’s like all my Christmas’ and birthdays have come at once.
I have college, hockey, and parents to deal with, but I am willing to go along with whatever Milo asks.
Anything, just to be able to spend more time together."]

I believe this is one of Willow’s very first published pieces. It shows a little bit in the dialogue and length, but over all, this was a very cute and fun novel. Especially one setting up and entire universe for a series. I can’t wait for the rest of the hockey players (and others) to find their low-angst/high-steam happily ever afters. 

#boltfromtheblue #unexpected #knockedforsix #doubletake #blownaway #caughtoffguard #caughtoffguardseries #willowthomas #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Clueless (Squad Goals #1)

I figured I've been very good lately at (mostly) only reading stuff on my TBR list (the already-downloaded-on-my-Kindle one). Therefore, I deserve a little treat (something from my backlog of TBR list). This is "Clueless," the first book in Willow Thomas's Squad Goals series. Mostly because I'm in the mood for a best-friends-brother romance (hit me up if you have some recs).

["Lexi
I’ve been in love with Ryder Jackson since my twin sister brought him home and declared him her best friend five years ago. He is funny, smart, gorgeous. The perfect man. Except he’s never shown any romantic interest in me. Ryder only does hookups, but my poor demi heart wants the whole package.
I vow to get over him and focus on my upcoming cheer competition, but suddenly, he’s everywhere, making me fall harder.
When he accidentally walks in on my self-love time, everything changes. One night with Ryder isn’t enough.
I know it’ll hurt when it ends, but if friends with benefits is all Ryder can give, I’ll take it.

Ryder
No boyfriends, no repeats. That’s always been my motto. But when I nearly get my ass handed to me by the disgruntled ex of a former hookup, I realize I need to change things up.
No sex until I learn to avoid the walking red flags.
I can do this.
Except, suddenly, all I can see is Lexi, my best friend’s brother. I’m creating situations to get cuddles from him during nineties movie night and even going to a football game just to watch him cheer.
After one hot night, I want more.
But how do I get Lexi to see me as more than just a hookup?"]

This book was a little cheesy. But so worth it: Minimal angst. Brother's best friend. Friends to lovers. Cheerleader meets Fuckboy. Mutual pining. 90s references. Soooooo many 90s references. It was fucking fabulous. 

#clueless #restless #squadgoals #squadgoalsseries #willowthomas #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Hostile Takeover (Hostile Takeover #1)

It took me a while to read this book, mostly for the perceived angst (that really gets to me apparently). This is Lucy Lennox's "Hostile Takeover," which is the first official novel (or the only full-length novel) in her series Hostile Takeover (the prequel was "Luca & Marcel").

["It was supposed to be a prank. A silly frat boy dare.
One hot moment in a hidden storage closet. One kiss. No consequences.
But if you get that close to a man with fire in his eyes, you’re gonna get burned, and I was no exception. One taste of Grey Blackwood ruined me for life.
The way Grey sees it, I was the one who did the ruining. I humiliated him. Wrecked his life. Destroyed his future.
Doesn’t matter that he’s clawed his way back and then some. Doesn’t matter that he’s already top of the Wall Street food chain. The man’s ruthless. Heartless. And he likes his revenge served cold.
Now he’s taking down the companies owned by every frat boy who did him wrong. And when he comes for my family’s company, the quiet life I’ve built for myself far away from Manhattan comes crumbling down, too.
But when Grey’s standing in our boardroom, threatening a hostile takeover and demanding I negotiate on behalf of my family, I don’t see an enemy. I see the chance I’ve been waiting for.
The chance for another night in his arms, and hopefully a whole lot more.
Let the negotiations begin."]

I did not expect this to be a slow-burn. Then again, of course it was. I love me a good romance. A slow-burn makes me itch (well, it gives me a headache, because then I binge-read even faster).

And these two did burn (get it? slow-burn?). Their attraction was immediate back in college. But neither of them were brave enough (or smart enough) to do anything about it. And it just wasn't their time. Fifteen years later? They're brave enough, just not smart enough. The attraction is back and stronger than fucking ever. It's literally palpable. As is all of the cliche troupes Lucy packed in here (fucking love me some cliches and troupes).

Excellent read. Well worth the self-appointed-wait.

#lucaandmarcel #hostiletakeover #hostiletakeoverseries #lucylennox #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Mr. Nice Guy (Suits & Sevens #3)

Why read books on my TBR list when I can read books that literally came out today?? Here's Isla Olsen's third novel in her Suits & Sevens series: "Mr. Nice Guy."

["Tanner
When you’re staring down the barrel of half a century’s existence on this planet, you tend to think about things…
Like…maybe I should think about retiring? And I guess I could start crossing things off my bucket list? And should I get my colon checked?
Something I wasn’t intending to start assessing too closely at this stage of my life—or ever, really—is my sporadic, complicated, and rather inconvenient attraction to men.
Some people do yoga. Others bake. For me, the only surefire way to release all that tension and anxiety that’s always building up inside me is…well, I’m sure you can figure it out…
But that’s all it is. Stress relief.
Or, at least, that’s all it was. Until I met Deacon Stapleton.
Gorgeous, funny, and great in bed—it only takes one night for me to decide I want him to be my permanent stress ball.
But there are some problems…he’s too young; he’s too nice; and he doesn’t do casual flings.
Oh, and did I mention he’s my daughter’s kindergarten teacher? "]

Good news! This book didn’t make me cry OR go into an anxiety spiral! 

The communication in this one was on point. Lots of talk about consent and boundaries and needs/wants/desires. Yes, there was that pesky third act almost break up, but—ha—they had someone knock some sense into them.

This book takes place right near the middle/end of the first book in the series (“Mr. Big Shot”) and during the entirety of the second book (“Mr. Right Now”). Which was really cool to see some of that, also confusing because I couldn’t remember their third act almost breaks ups/drama. 

Trigger warnings: anxiety disorder, special needs children, and more

#mrniceguy #mrrightnow #mrbigshot #suitsandsevens #suitsandsevensseries #loveandluck #loveandluckseries #islaolsen #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Up In Flames

"Up In Flames" by Eden Finley and Saxon James is teeeccchhhnically a stand-alone novel. But it's in the same universe and the same town as their latest Puckboys novel ("Foolish Puckboy") as well as Saxon's "The Husband Hoax."

["SANDEN
When it’s your job as groomsman to tell the groom his wedding isn’t happening, the smartest thing to do is get it over and done with and then tell the guests to leave.
Yeah, well, I never said I was smart.
I might … accidentally, maybe on purpose, suggest to Remy that the best form of revenge is to have a party anyway. I mean, he’s already got catering, a DJ, and guests, so what better time to throw a petty party?
My loser high school friend never deserved him anyway. If I’d had the chance, I would have locked Remy down years ago.
Only, when the party leads to a drunken kiss, going on their honeymoon, and sharing their marital bed, I have to say, I’m not entirely sad that their wedding went up in flames."]

Gabe (from "Foolish Puckboy") didn't understand why Sanden was so cold with Remy and why he was upset about Remy's engagement (especially since Remy wasn't even technically his friend in the relationship), but Aleks did. I mean, everyone else did, too. I was upset that Sanden and Remy's story never got resolved in FP...until I saw that they were getting their own novel. Cue fangirl squeals. 

They were literally perfect for each other. Sure, it was fast and messy (Eman continuing to be a massive dick didn’t help. at. all.).

But the mature as fuck decision to put mental health first? Yeah, I sobbed like a baby for 30+ minutes and hated the world for a while, but it was the right and smart decision, even if I go into a mental health down-spiral myself.

Trigger Warnings: emotional manipulation, emotional abuse, domestic abuse recovery, off-page death of a child, fire department situations, and more

#upinflames #edenfinley #saxonjames #thehusbandhoax #notdatingmaterial  #accidentallove #accidentalloveseries #foolishpuckboy #puckboys #puckboysseries #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

There's a Beach In My Bedroom

I bought "There's A Beach In My Bedroom" purely out of nepotism, because it was cowritten by Kevin and Danielle Jonas (illustrated by Courtney Dawson). Obviously, I was going to buy it; obviously.

["Bella loves the beach.

She loves the flip and flop slap of her feet on the sand.

She loves the crash, crash, crash of the ocean waves. 

And she loves the gentle shush, shush of the beach umbrella in the breeze.

But a rainstorm hits and Bella’s perfect family beach day is ruined. 

This day is a rainy, awful mess!

But maybe a little imagination, and a loving family, can show Bella that a beach day at home can be its own special kind of fun."] 

It's about the joy of imagination and the power of family. It's resilient as fuck without being outright about it. It's colorful and bright. It's supportive and wonderful. And so, so cute!

Nepotism aside, I would tooooootally recommend this book to anyone with kiddos, anyone who works with kiddos, or anyone who likes to read picture books.

#theresabeachinmybedroom #theresarockconcertinmybedroom #kevinjonas #daniellejonas #thejonasfamily #thejonasbrothers #courtneydawson #childrensbooks #picturebooks #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Straight Battle (Heroes At Home #1)

Not reading books in my TBR pile, not reading book already downloaded on my kindle, but getting authors off my to-binge list is something, right? An accomplishment is an accomplishment. Here is Willow Dixon's Heroes At Home series, and the first novel is "Straight Battle."

[""I’ve always been interested in women, so why can’t I stop thinking about Tyler?" - Gage

Buying a house was supposed to be a good investment. Too bad I bit off more than I can chew. Between my job at the bank and my utter lack of home improvement skills, I’m in way over my head. Then a friend suggests I hire a handyman. Enter Tyler.

Tyler is down on his luck after a recent divorce, and we strike a deal that he fixes my house while I give him room and board as part of his pay. He’s the perfect roommate, amazing at his job, and he quickly becomes one of my closest friends. But there’s something there, something I’ve never felt for another man before.

Tyler and I both thought we were straight, but that doesn’t stop the attraction that grows between us. Is it possible I found the person who could finally show me what love is?"]

This book was so cute!! Sooooooo much less angst than I excepted. Like a lot less.

They didn't know what they were feeling or what that particular sexual identity category they fell under, but it felt right. It was easy and fun and simple. They had similar interests and supported each other's hobbies and dreams. So what if they never picked a label? Labels are stupid anyway. ;)

Trigger warnings: discussions from time at war, crappy parents, and more

#battletobelong #straightbattle #battleforthetop #battletosurrender #willowdixon #heroesathome #heroesathomeseries #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Can't Say Goodbye

I loved Brady when he was Felix's best friend in Saxon James's "The Dating Disaster." I loved Brady still when he was Peyton's brother in Eden Finley's "Football Royalty" (both books are part of the Franklin U series (also known as the FUKings series). I fell in love with him though in Eden Finley's latest novel: "Can't Say Goodbye."

["Our quick hellos are followed by drawn out goodbyes.

What started out as one fun night turned into a regular thing none of us ever planned for.

I can’t walk away from Kit and Prescott. Kit is the stern nurturer I need. He’s the caretaker, the solid presence. Prescott enables my wild ways. He’s someone I can have fun with. They couldn’t be more perfect for me.

But come graduation, I have to move across the country, and geography isn’t our only obstacle. Being in a relationship with two men isn’t good for my public image, my brother’s NFL career, or the media frenzy that surrounds my famously queer family.

We have a plan to meet up once a year, but with every reunion, every brief visit, we fall deeper.

There has to be a breaking point, something that will end it for us, or soon it will be impossible to say goodbye at all."]

((Famously queer family = his and Peyton's fathers, Marcus Talon and Shane Miller, from Eden's Fake Boyfriend series "Blindsided"---in case anyone wanted all of the connections, I got you ;) )).

Again, I delayed reading this book, because I anticipated angst. Again, I was correct in assuming the presence of angst, because duh, you read the blurb. Again, I was pretty damn happy with the included angst, because...well...you read the blurb. It comes with the terriroty of the genre as well as the secret relationships as well as the road to HEAs.

And weren't those HEAs damn amazing! 

All of the fluff and the support and the sweetness and the drama and the sheer amount of steam. All of it. 

#cantsaygoodbye #footballroyalty #edenfinley #thedatingdisaster #saxonjames #franklinu #franklinuseries #FUKings #FUKingsseries #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Red, White, and Royal Blue: reread

One month. One. Month. 

The film adaptation of Casey McQuiston's novel "Red, White, and Royal Blue" comes out in one month from today.

["First Son Alex Claremont-Diaz is the closest thing to a prince this side of the Atlantic. With his intrepid sister and the Veep’s genius granddaughter, they’re the White House Trio, a beautiful millennial marketing strategy for his mother, President Ellen Claremont. International socialite duties do have downsides—namely, when photos of a confrontation with his longtime nemesis Prince Henry at a royal wedding leak to the tabloids and threaten American/British relations.

The plan for damage control: staging a fake friendship between the First Son and the Prince. Alex is busy enough handling his mother’s bloodthirsty opponents and his own political ambitions without an uptight royal slowing him down. But beneath Henry’s Prince Charming veneer, there’s a soft-hearted eccentric with a dry sense of humor and more than one ghost haunting him.

As President Claremont kicks off her reelection bid, Alex finds himself hurtling into a secret relationship with Henry that could derail the campaign and upend two nations. And Henry throws everything into question for Alex, an impulsive, charming guy who thought he knew everything: What is worth the sacrifice? How do you do all the good you can do? And, most importantly, how will history remember you?"]

I sped read parts (sometimes I feel as if I could do without the politics aspects of this novel, but the politics aspects, all of the nitty-gritty and paperwork and NDAs and pollings and secrecy, is half of the novel--an important half). I read and reread and rereread parts. I highlighted and underlined and screenshooted parts. I tried really hard not to cry while reading the emails (and the declarations of love in real-life, still in poetry form) and cried really hard during the not-so-fun times (the almost-break-up, the second almost-break-up, the fights, the family, the politics). Plus, they're both huge fucking nerds, and I'm here for it ("the phrase: 'see attached bibliography' is the single sexiest thing you have ever written"). I fucking love this book.

I forgot how poetic this book was.  (again, all the emails--but also: "but the thing is, jumping off clips is kinda my thing. that's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. on purpose. I love him on purpose."--and: "straight people, he thinks, probably don't spend this much time convincing themselves they're straight.")

I forgot how devistating this book was. I forgot how dark the depression and anxiety and closets are in this book (because the crown and the world puts poor Henry into so many fucking closets).

This book is a fucking icon. ("history, huh?")

I just went and rewatched the trailer for the RWRB movie again...a few times. Again, I can't wait. I'm going to have to watch this in my own closet so no one sees be fan-girl-squeal and ugly cry.

Also, have some random ass posts I've collected over the years. Enjoy. ;)

#redwhiteandroyalblue #caseymcquiston #LGBT #LGBTbooks #historyhuh #makinghistory #hamilton #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Red, White, and Royal Blue: Trailer

I want to cry. Cry from just all of the emotions and excitement and...realness of it all. Casey McQuiston's "Red, White, and Royal Blue" novel is almost, almost a movie. Almost a month from now. The full-length trailer came out today, and I just watched it.

I want to cry. It look so perfect and sweet and angsty and British accents mixed with Texas accents. I know it'll be different from the book (which I plan on rereading this weekend--look for a post about it and it one-month count down early next week), in both good ways and not, but it'll be real.

Flashback slash Serious time. 
    A few years ago, I realized that gay love stories were a thing, not just a fanfic thing. There weren't many though, not at all. Now? Now there's so fucking many. So many different kinds and genres and age-ranges for so many different people; libraries and book stores can now have a full LGBT+ section. 
    Around that same time, "Love, Simon" came out in theaters. I went to see it, and I bawled my eyes out. It was one of the very first films (in theaters--for young adults) that showed it was okay to be gay, to be out and proud and in love and accepted. It was based off the novel "Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda" by Becky Albertalli.
    But I do remember half a lifetime ago when another important queer movie debuted in theaters (barely off the AIDs Pandemic wave of the 90s). It was all over the news, little me just didn't know why. "Brokeback Mountain." I didn't understand why it was a big deal for two men to be in love, let about have a movie about it, let alone everyone debating about it on the news. Yes, it was public (the movie) and it was gay and in love, but it wasn't about being out and proud and accepted. True, representation in general for the queer community is vital, even seeing someone else being closeted and afraid is important (its the representation that's important, not necessarily the content). But it wasn't nearly as revolutionary as "Love, Simon." I've yet to see the movie adaptation of Annie Proulx's short story, but I did read the short story (and cried for a while, hated life for a while, hated this world for a while).

Then comes "Red, White, and Royal Blue." Right on Amazon Prime. Available to stream right there at your fingertips. It's just...crying again... It's so happy to see queerness being promoted instead of bashed (though I'm sure there will be bashing). It's so good to see the community and everyone in it being represented. It's out and proud of gay and in love and accepted and happy. But RWRB is also about being closeted and afraid, about alone and sad and ashamed for who you are and who you love. I can't tell you how many times Henry runs from his feelings or how fucking long it takes Alex to realize his, all of the inner turmoil and the self-doubt and the imposter syndrome and the self-hatred. It's a lot. As is their love story. But it's so fucking important and monumental and HISTORY MAKING.

Representation and availability are important. Not to mention just the mere presence of something like this. It's very existence--when not even a lifetime ago people were being arrested, being killed, being outlawed for who they are--it's groundbreaking and fundamental. Plus, having something out there to help people learn about the world, not just themselves, but who their neighbors are. Ground. Fucking. Breaking. Fundamental as fuck. 

I'm out of words. I'm speechless. I can't tell you what seeing this trailer means to me, and I'm only the + in LGBT+. It's just so much. I'm so excited for this to debut (the week before Heartstopper season two debuts on Netflix). I'm off to watch the trailer again (and cry some more).

#redwhiteandroyalblue #caseymcquiston #LGBT #LGBTbooks #historyhuh #makinghistory #hamilton  #lovesimon #simonvsthehomosapiensagenda #beckyalbertalli #brokebackmountain #annieproulx #heartstopper #aliceoseman #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks