Meet Cute Diary

I've been meaning to get to this book (my TBR piles--yes, piles--are ridiculously long) for forever. Anyway...I finally did. Read Emery Lee's book ("Meet Cute Diary") in almost one sitting. 

["Noah Ramirez thinks he’s an expert on romance. He has to be for his popular blog, the Meet Cute Diary, a collection of trans happily ever afters. There’s just one problem—all the stories are fake. What started as the fantasies of a trans boy afraid to step out of the closet has grown into a beacon of hope for trans readers across the globe.

When a troll exposes the blog as fiction, Noah’s world unravels. The only way to save the Diary is to convince everyone that the stories are true, but he doesn’t have any proof. Then Drew walks into Noah’s life, and the pieces fall into place: Drew is willing to fake-date Noah to save the Diary. But when Noah’s feelings grow beyond their staged romance, he realizes that dating in real life isn’t quite the same as finding love on the page."]

I kind of...couldn't stand Noah for a while. Then again, he's a teenager who has a bit of a diva-complex, who (like a lot of teenagers) think they have everything figured out. And yeah, he's a bit selfish for most of it (but character development). But he really grew on me, as did his very cute blog and totally-unrealistic-but-totally-adorable Romance/Relationship Checklist.

There's a lot of figure out about yourself in this one too, especially when it comes to gender-identity and sexual-identity. It's very empowering, especially since these characters are teens and they've figured out so much about themselves already (and still figuring the rest out). It's also encroaches on the darker side of knowing yourself at such a young age (and being surrounded by other people who haven't and who haven't figured out how to be/act around people who aren't cis-het, people who haven't learned much about the other labels besides cis and het, people who are mainly just spouting off their parent's opinions on said subjects--mini rant over), so be mindful of the below trigger warnings.

I don't know how to gush about this book as much as I want to without spoiling anything. Because like, a lot of my favorite aspects of the novel came after several plot twists (though they were delightfully and comfortably predictable--it means the author trusts the reader to put 2 and 2 together).

Trigger Warnings: transphobia, homophobia, bullying, suicide attempt, almost-use-of-dead-names/wrong-genders, anxiety, anxiety attacks, lying, toxic relationships, etc

#meetcutediary #emerylee #trans #transbooks #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Goodbye, October!

What the hell is this month anyway? All month, I kept thinking, "no, don't worry about it, because it's still too early in the year, it's not even close to October yet."  :|  It is October. Or it was...

2021 Resolutions:

     (1) Write [almost] every day

     (2) Don't stop reading

     (3) Complete something (e.g. a manuscript)

     (4) Share love of books/writing
     (5) Be kinder to myself

(1) Avoiding my problems do not make my problems go away. At least I'm aware of that... Still...

(2) Books read this month: 6 (though I might add one more by midnight).

(3) Still waiting....  Didn't do any extra research like I thought I would. Again

(4) Posts this month (including this one): 10.

(5) ... here's to trying (at least a little bit) in November (maybe??)?

Anyone still holding onto their resolutions?

Any exciting November reads?
Anything I should check out?

#newyearsresolutions #goodbyeoctober #hellonovember #goodbye2020 #hello2021 #keeplearning #writeeveryday #dontstopreading #completesomething #getprofessional #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

I Was Born For This

I love Alice Oseman, and I've started slowly reading through her novels after obsessively reading #Heartstopper so many times. 

["For Angel Rahimi, life is only about one thing: The Ark – a pop-rock trio of teenage boys who are currently taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark’s fandom has given her everything – her friendships, her dreams, her place in the world.

Jimmy Kaga-Ricci owes everything to The Ark too. He’s their frontman – and playing in a band is all he’s ever dreamed of doing. It’s just a shame that recently everything in his life seems to have turned into a bit of a nightmare.

Because that’s the problem with dreaming – eventually, inevitably, real life arrives with a wake-up call. And when Angel and Jimmy are unexpectedly thrust together, they will discover just how strange and surprising facing up to reality can be."]

My "The Ark" was the Jonas Brothers. Like Angel, they meant everything to me. They got me through so much shit in middle school and high school. Their journey and their music and seeing them persevere made me want to do the same things in my life. As Angel said so damn well: "I'm just saying there's more to fandom than 'I want to kiss a famous boy'." and "In an otherwise mediocre existence, we choose to feel passion." So, girl, I get it. Moving onto the actual book review.

So many topics covered in so many ways. From Jimmy's perspective and Angel's perspective: sexuality, identity, religion, mental health, passion, future options, etc. And yet, even though they're from two completely different backgrounds, these two had very similar opinions and dreams. 

Holy shit. This book was just like...wow. Very deep and very very dark. When both narrators have anxiety and depression and suicidal thoughts, it gets a bit hard to go on for a while. Take your time reading this one, folks, yeah?

Every time Angel spoke about being in a fandom, I was like "yas, girl, that's exactly it." And every time Jimmy spoke about fans, I was like "shit, bro, that's not how everyone is, chill" (but he did eventually chill--mostly).

I loved how there was like zero romance in this book. It was touched on briefly by the main characters (but in the "wow, I really want to fall in love one day so that I can be important to at least one person" kind of way--which, same) and a little more in-depth by the secondary characters. But it just. like, wasn't part of the plot or sub-plot, which was super refreshing. 

And the fact that Jimmy is trans (not a spoiler, its in like the first four chapters, if not his first chapter), but it's just a fact and we move on from it? The fact that its just like not a part of the plot at all? It's so damn...amazing. It's just there. He's just who he is (there is some transphobia talk in one or two chapters, but that's really it). It doesn't effect the plot AT ALL (like how Dan Levy wanted his character in "Schitt's Creek" to be queer but the plot to not really revolve around that at all, because it doesn't matter at the end of the day, who he loves--except it's Patrick and I'll always love them--because his queerness isn't the only aspect of his personality). And I live for that.

Trigger Warnings: anxiety, social anxiety, transphobia, homophobia, suicide, suicidal language, bigoted language, depression, lying, stalking, paparazzi, media throwing things out of proportion and generally just wanting reads/likes, etc

#iwasbornforthis #aliceoseman #heartstopperseries #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Radio Silence

I love Alice Oseman, and I've started slowly reading through her novels after obsessively reading #Heartstopper so many times. For this one, I'd recommend reading "Solitaire" first (the ending of that book coincides with the beginning of this book) (Aled is a semi-reoccurring minor character in "Heartstopper"). 

["What if everything you set yourself up to be was wrong?

Frances has been a study machine with one goal. Nothing will stand in her way; not friends, not a guilty secret – not even the person she is on the inside. Then Frances meets Aled, and for the first time she's unafraid to be herself.

So when the fragile trust between them is broken, Frances is caught between who she was and who she longs to be. Now Frances knows that she has to confront her past. To confess why Carys disappeared…

Frances is going to need every bit of courage she has."]

I totally and completely understand France when she describes herself in two different people. School Frances and Normal Frances. I was like that. I was a completely different person at school than I was at home/with my family/who I wanted to be in the future. And it's lonely as fuck. It's still lonely as fuck. But at least we have each other and people out there who get it and books to keep us company.

"Radio Silence" was so fucking beautiful. It was tragically dark and depressing and so amazing. It was about found family and passions in life and being safe (or finding safety and learning that it is out there, you just have to trust it). It was about finding what you love and protecting it at all costs (and, at the same time, not being able to).

So far, this is my favorite of Alice's novels. It was so fucking amazing and beautiful and I know I used those words already (and do again below), but holy shit.

This book did make me feel...a lot of things. Honestly, I felt like complete shit during most of this book (because I knew what was happening to Aled and couldn't tell Frances and couldn't help him or her or anyone). And after reading it, especially when School Frances started returning and Aled started withdrawing (spoiler alert--but not, if you read the blurb). It was very dark and depressing. It was lonely and scary. It was fucking beautiful. But be prepared to cry (I did--a fuck ton).

Now I want to paint a galaxy mural on my ceiling. 

Trigger Warnings: depression, anxiety, social anxiety, anxiety about the future, the future in general, bullying, homophobia, blackmail, domestic abuse, doggy death, manipulation, self-harm, etc

#radiosilence #aliceoseman #heartstopperseries #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Solitaire

I love Alice Oseman, and I've started slowly reading through her novels after obsessively reading #Heartstopper so many times. For this one, I'd recommend reading Nick and Charlie's books first (though this was published originally near the first volume--this book contains spoilers for Vol 4 of "Heartstopper" and vice versa).

["In case you’re wondering, this is not a love story.

My name is Tori Spring. I like to sleep and I like to blog. Last year – before all that stuff with Charlie and before I had to face the harsh realities of A-Levels and university applications and the fact that one day I really will have to start talking to people – I had friends. Things were very different, I guess, but that’s all over now.

Now there’s Solitaire. And Michael Holden.

I don’t know what Solitaire are trying to do, and I don’t care about Michael Holden.
I really don’t."]

This book is called "the 'Catcher In The Rye' of the digital age." And I get it. The mental illness and the solitude and the weird side characters and the engaging in social norms to try to feel normal but hating it. It's similar. But without the enormous hatred I have for Holden Caulfield. Because I hate him, a lot (was supposed to read this book 2 or 3 separate times. Could never finish it. Sparknotes for the win there. 

Back to the first line of the blurb. "This is not a love story." I thought it meant maybe it wasn’t a love story because she doesn’t fall in love or that the romance plot wasn’t a major aspect of the novel as a whole. Or that she falls in love with herself. It’s all wrong. And she certainly doesn’t fall in love with herself; if anything, she falls more and more into hate with herself. 

This book didn’t trigger anything for me. If anything, I felt her need for isolation and desperation for her bed/computer and hate of change and guilt for things out of your control and disgust of people. Then again, I’m living with a mental illness, so that’s probably why. But I felt for her the entire book and didn’t understand why people kept telling her to snap out of it and just be happy already (like one, that’s not how it works; two, back the fuck off; three, maybe ask if she needs anything before you continually tell her how pessimistic she is, which they did, a lot). 

Anyway, lots of separate but connected rants all about this book. Tons of feelings really. Not sure if I touched on all of them. But do read it (keeping the below trigger warnings in mind). 

Trigger Warnings: self harm, suicide, suicide attempt, mental illnesses, eating disorders, bullying, homophobia, aggressive social norms, anarchy, etc

#solitaire #aliceoseman #heartstopperseries #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Deadly Little Scandals (Debutantes #2)

Another Jenifer Lynn Barnes book for y'all: "Deadly Little Scandals" (sequel to "Little White Lies").

[""Think of the White Gloves like the Junior League-by way of Skull and Bones?"

Reluctant debutante Sawyer Taft joined Southern high society for one reason and one reason alone: to identify and locate her biological father. But the answers Sawyer found during her debutante year only left her with more questions and one potentially life-ruining secret. When her cousin Lily ropes her into pledging a mysterious, elite, and all-female secret society called the White Gloves, Sawyer soon discovers that someone in the group's ranks may have the answers she's looking for. Things are looking up... until Sawyer and the White Gloves make a disturbing discover near the family's summer home--and uncover a twisted secret, decades in the making.

No one is quite who they seem to be. "]

My coworker recommended this book duo to me after she finished reading #TheInheritanceGames series (new series, same author).

I went into this one (book two) wanting to know "what the fuck is happening" ... it took a while for me to figure it out. And even when I thought I knew "what the fuck is happening" ... I was wrong. Soooooooo fucking wrong.

And then, when you have a theory (or six), you're still wrong. About all six theories. About every theory. Until there's a couple of girls in a hole (not a spoiler--its in the prologue) and a gun and a couple of near-impossible secrets. Because hooooooollllllllly fuuuuuuuuuuck those secrets (they're big and complex and I'm still not sure I fully understand everything)

The first book had a quick, one-page "present" section every couple of chapters, followed by several "previously on..." chapters. Both combined to create dual cliff-hangers that made taking a break really hard (and going to sleep at night--who needs sleep when a book can keep you warm at night, and awake at work the next day). THIS book had a quick, one-page "present" section, a handful of "previously on..." chapters, annnnnnnd several "two and a half decades ago" one-page chapters, all mingled and mixed in there making the secrets even more deadly and even more cliff-hanger-y (which, okay, that was a really, really good joke, if you read this book, you know what I mean).

#littlewhitelies #deadlylittlescandals #jenniferlynnbarnes #debutantes #debutantesseries #thriller #yathriller #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Any Way The Wind Blows: Reaction 3

It took me a few months to get through my second read-through of Rainbow Rowell's "Any Way The Wind Blows" because life. And getting distracted my other books. And going through my copy of AWTWB with my pen and highlighter and adding notes about callbacks from "Carry On" and "Wayward Son" and adding notes about AWTWB to my copies of CO and WS...either way, it's been a lot, but it's been so much fun.

Because... 

Holy. Shit.

This book. These books. I just can't. I want to, but I can't. I have so many feelings about these books about these characters about the school and the trips and the trauma (theirs and mine). It covers so many damn topics (straight-forward ones and subtle ones--some so subtle that I think they're just headcanons). There's not enough words or enough time to describe every perfect and imperfect thing/moment/person/symbol/progression in this series.

Snowbaz and Watford has gotten me through so fucking much in the past 6+ years. So fucking much. Just typing this makes me want to cry. I'm literally tearing up right now. I had to type another paragraph to distract myself (not lying). What would we do without fandoms? 

The paragraph I distracted myself with (aka the logic behind this photo): It has a little Simon (the Watford hoodie) and a little Baz (the flowered blouse). I just wish I had some scones (Baz'll just have tea for now, thanks--though he is partial to Lady Salisbury's cakes).

#anywaythewindblows #waywardson #carryon #fangirl #rainbowrowell #magicath #carryonsimon #simonsnow #snowbaz #bazpitch #tyrannusbasiltongrimmpitch #dragons #watford #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Luca & Marcel (Hostile Takeover #0.5)

A little preview/prequel to Lucy Lennox's latest series (Hostile Takeover) with her short story "Luca & Marcel."

["Will his temporary PA turn into something permanent when they land in Vegas?

When billionaire hotelier Luca Bernardi discovers his trusty assistant can't come with him on an important business trip, he panics. Thankfully, she calls in a backup. Only... she was a little under the influence of heavy narcotics when she made the call... and when the temp shows up wearing sequins and a tiara, Luca wonders if his PA has taken leave of her senses and arranged for a... worker of the night instead of a professional assistant.

As the PA to a renowned venture capitalist, Marcel Abbott knows his way around an investment negotiation. As far as he's concerned, he's the best temp this Luca guy could ever want for his business trip to Vegas. But when Marcel boards Luca's private jet, Luca treats him like... a rent boy. Just what does this man think the "P" in "PA" stands for?"]

I really needed a romance lately. Trying to binge read a bunch of murder mysteries/thrillers really gets your down (plus, ya know, work-related stress). And I needed something short, to get my addiction fixed so I can finish what I started (the murder mysteries/thrillers). Let me tell you, Lucy always fucking provides that fix. 

The perfect amount of confusion and angst and comedy and something-else-that-starts-with-an-A... and steamy stuff in Vegas. It was soooo fucking cute and fluffy and perfect. They just fit each other. It was quick as hell (their romance and the book--I wanted more them), but when it's right, it's right (when you know, you know). So damn cheesy, but soooooooo fucking good. Again, just what I really needed (apparently, just what Luca and Marcel needed too ;) ).

Now I can't wait for "Hostile Takeover" to come out (two more weeks).

#lucaandmarcel #hostiletakeover #hostiletakeoverseries #lucylennox #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

There's Someone Inside Your House: Movie Review

There's Someone Inside Your House: movie review.

The Netflix Original movie adaptation of Stephanie Perkin's young adult murder-mystery/thriller novel debuted last night. Being of sound mind, I waited until the sun came back up to watch it, just in case. ;)

Let me tell you. It was pretty damn good. Parts of it were slower (that could be because I have tons of things to get done today). But over all, it was really, really good. 

I don't remember all of the details of the book, but from what I do remember, it followed the plot and the original characters really well. The acting and the cinematography was on point. The climax was just like, out of nowhere (in the right kind of way that comes with a thriller). 

I'd say totally watch it. But I'd also recommend reading the book first...since this is a book blog. ;)

#theressomeoneinsideyourhouse  #theressomeoneinsideyourhousemovie #stephanieperkins #netflix #basedonabook #thriller #murdermystery #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

As Good As Dead

The highly anticipated, higher stakes finale to Holy Jackson's "A Good Girls Guide To Murder" series is finally here. "As Good As Dead" will have you...as good as dead. (almost a week late, but better late than dead).

["Pip's good girl days are long behind her. After solving two murder cases and garnering internet fame from her crime podcast, she's seen a lot.

But she's still blindsided when it starts to feel like someone is watching her. It's small things at first. A USB stick with footage recording her and the same anonymous source always asking her: who will look for you when you're the one who disappears? It could be a harmless fan, but her gut is telling her danger is lurking.

When Pip starts to find connections between her possible stalker and a local serial killer, Pip knows that there is only one choice: find the person threatening her town including herself--or be as good as dead. Because maybe someone has been watching her all along..."]

Hooollllllllly fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. This book had sooo many twists and turns. So many fucking plot twists. I didn't breathe through half of it. A third of it, I was chanting "what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck" under my breath." A fifth of it I was a confused as hell (the beginning--I couldn't remember what happened in the first two books).

I don't know how to talk about this book without spoiling anything. So just mind the trigger warnings below and read it.

Trigger Warnings: PTSD, anxiety/mental illness, blackmail, stalking, violence, threats, murder, drug use, accidental-gas-lighting, taunting, rape, everything that is fundamentally wrong with the criminal justice system, etc

#asgoodasdead #agoodgirlsguidetomurder #goodgirlbadblood #holyjackson #agoodgirlsguidetomurderseries #thriller #yathriller #murdermystery #yamurdermystery #books #bookstagram #bookphotography