Goodbye, May!

May lasted an eternity. I feel like it was years ago that I visited my sister at the beginning of this month. May was also just a month of feeling eternal, and not in the cool, free-spirited, full-of-youth kind of way; more like the week never ended then the weekends were for recuperating but not at all restful. Eternal in the existential crisis kind of way, the what-is-my-life kind of way (so fun stuff, really).

  

2022 Resolutions:
     (1) Write [almost] every day...or at least think about it
     (2) Don't stop reading
     (3) Make something (e.g. a manuscript)
     (4) Share love of books/writing
     (5) Be kinder to myself

(1) Nada here. Thought about it though. Thought about why I haven't in a while and if anyone else goes through years worth of not writing but still calling yourself a writer. Thought about all of the stories I outlined but didn't write, about all of the stories I started but didn't finish, about all of the stories I have floating out there but can't pin down. Thought about starting it up again, about figuring out a new process/system for myself and my current life needs/goals/etc. See what I mean about existential crisis?

(2) Books read this month: 11 (might get one more in there before midnight though). Writing hasn't felt right in a while, and neither has reading, to be honest. I haven't wanted to think about why (burn out, imposter syndrome, needing to write again, watching too much true crime again, etc) because that's another existential crisis road I haven't wanted to go down (yet).

(3) See item number one.

(4) Posts this month (including this one): 11. 

(5) I wanted to try to get back on my elliptical bike, but haven't figured out how to fit that into my schedule yet either. I ate a few salads and some fruit. I can't say I didn't hate myself at all this month (see above existential crisises). But I'm also working on loving myself as is and being happy as is, which is as we all know, harder than it sounds.

Anyone still holding onto their resolutions (now that its time to make brand-new ones)?

Any exciting June reads?
Anything I should check out?

#newyearsresolutions #goodbyemay #hellojune #hello2022 #keeplearning #writeeveryday #dontstopreading #makesomething #shareloveofbooks #bekindertoself #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Peter Darling

Speaking of queer adaptations of Peter Pan...I couldn't not read one after A.M. Johnson's "Dear Mr. Brody." I started with the one I had downloaded on my kindle (mainly because I was too lazy to go upstairs to my TBR shelves): Austin Chant's "Peter Darling."

["The Lost Boys say that Peter Pan went back to England because of Wendy Darling, but Wendy is just an old life he left behind. Neverland is his real home. So when Peter returns to it after ten years in the real world, he’s surprised to find a Neverland that no longer seems to need him.

The only person who truly missed Peter is Captain James Hook, who is delighted to have his old rival back. But when a new war ignites between the Lost Boys and Hook’s pirates, the ensuing bloodshed becomes all too real – and Peter’s rivalry with Hook starts to blur into something far more complicated, sensual, and deadly."]

There was hints of attraction in the prologue (James's POV) as well as in the first chapter (Peter's POV), but in my opinion, sparks flew when they had their first real sword fight, when James threatened Peter's life (as one does), and Peter quoted J.M. Barrie's original text, and the two found themselves laughing together ((the quote being one the one I had tattooed on my arm)).

I've been trying to write a Peter Pan adaptation for years, focusing on James's villain backstory. And in more recent years, I've been trying to write a queer adaptation, focusing on a romance between Peter and James. All the while trying to keep true to the original text, including the darkness and twistiness I love so much. I've been constantly intimidated and getting weighed down my imposter syndrome as well as comparing myself/my work to others. This FABULOUS book doesn't help.  

Not to mention the trans representation. Being cis, I could never understand the feeling of gender dysphoria, but Austin Chant did wonders of describing Peter's struggle and none of his family understanding and the pain of dead-naming (speaking of which, please, please, please mind the trigger warnings below before reading). Several reviewers on Goodreads and Amazon who are trans whole-heartedly agree; for more personalized statements/reviews/thoughts on said trans representation, I would turn to those.

Again, I have seen and will always continue to see the connection between Peter Pan and Jas Hook (if both are of age, like this story has made them). This book only further instilled that thought, making them the perfect opposites-attract, enemies-to-lovers, puzzle-pieces couple.

Trigger Warnings: gender dysphoria, transphobia, dead-naming, violence, death, brief mentions of suicidal thoughts, etc. 

#peterdarling #austinchant #peterpan #captainhook #jmbarrie #books #queerbooks #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

To Whom It May Concern (For Him series #3.5)

I stumbled across this series (For Him by A.M. Johnson) after an email recommendation came my way from Saxon James. The next book, a novella, is titled “To Whom It May Concern.”

["To whom it may concern,
I can't be sure what you're into, that being said, if you like sexy and sweet romance with a whole lot of quirk, keep reading...
Ever since Clay Saxon's parents passed away a year ago, he's been stuck in a rut, running their business, and suffering from the worst writer's block ever. But when Syrus Albie, aka yellow sweater guy, (you'll see) walks into The End Book Store, Clay's mundane little world turns to sunshine.
I don't want to ruin it, but I can definitely say, when an introverted as hell narrator finally meets his favorite author and crush, all of his usual protocols go up in flames."]

I love how novellas in series like this are connected but not as obviously so as the rest of the series. Clay is an author, and his agent is Anders (from book 2). Syrus's cousin is engaged to Van's (from book 3) brother, the cousin whom also owns the coffee shop that Wilder (from book 1) frequents and where Evan (from book 2) briefly worked at. It's all so cutely coincidental and very "it's a small world."

These two were soooooo cute! Clay felt like a teenager with a crush, all giddy and excited with butterflies and beautiful words. Syrus was unsure and nervous but willing to put himself out there and try for something new and engaging. They took it slow and got to know each other. This story didn't have a happily ever after, but it did have a let's-do-this-shit, let's-fall-into-our-feelings-and-hope-for-the-best. Instead of a Then End, the stereotypical end-line had a For Now attached, with a hint/promise of a series for the new set of bookish pals, which sounds amazing.

Trigger Warnings: anxiety, social anxiety, smoking/recreational drugs, homophobia, drunk driving, death/dying, etc. 

#lovewalwayswild #notsosincerelyyours #dearmrbrody #towhomitmayconcern #foreverconamor #forhim #forhimseries #amjohnson #saxonjames #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Dear Mr. Brody (For Him series #3)

I stumbled across this series (For Him by A.M. Johnson) after an email recommendation came my way from Saxon James. The third book is titled “Dear Mr. Brody.”

["Parker,
I never meant for any of this to happen, to fall for you. It doesn't matter that we're both adults, or how much we want this to work. The college policy is clear. I can't see a way around this without one of us getting hurt. If I would’ve known who you were when we met online, I would have never pursued a relationship. I'm new to all of this, and besides my daughter, getting to know you has been the best thing to ever happen to me. But I can't make you hide again. I won't. It's not fair to either of us.
Deepest regrets,
Donovan

Dear Mr. Brody,
You're right, we are adults. I'm twenty-four years old, and I think I can decide for myself what's best for me. If this is about you losing your job, I'll walk away. But if this is you trying to protect me, then you're an idiot. I want you. I care about you. My past isn't an issue. What we're doing… it isn't the same thing. If we have to hide, so be it. I'm not ready to let you go.
Your Lost Boy,
Parker"]

I sped-read through half of this book and then took an immediate two-week hiatus from it (and reading in general). Everything was going great for them; they were happy and peaceful and well on their way to falling in love. I, like a completely rational human being, wanted to avoid the shoe from dropping, from the shit hitting the fan, so I just ignored everything (and bought a shit ton of more books that I'll just add to the TBR shelves--I need a new bookshelf to dedicate my TBR piles to, but that's another rant/post). 

Let me tell you, I was an idiot. Yes, there was the inevitable angst that comes with a new romance, let alone a risky and newly-out-and-proud one, but the angst levels were sooooooo much lower than I had built up in my own anxiety-ridden mind (spoil alert).

This book was soooo cute and beautiful and supportive as fuck. Parker supported Van, and Van supported Parker, and their friends supported them individually (as well as together--spoiler alert part two). It was difficult, and they had to work through it, but they made it work.

I was a little disappointed in the so-called Peter Pan references that the blurb on GoodReads said would be in here. Yes, there was mention of Peter Pan and Tinker Bell. But it wasn't from the original J.M. Barrie text, or even one of the many movie adaptations. They kept referencing a queer adaptation of the original text (of which there are many--all of which are purchased and on previously mentioned TBR shelves); however, said adaptation isn't a real book but one made up for the sake of the storyline. As an author I totally understand the need for this as well as the continuation of the series inside jokes based on famous books/love of books, however, as a massive fan (I have three tattoos dedicated to it) of the original Peter Pan text, I was a little (okay, a lot) disappointed. Still really, really, really enjoyed the book itself though, queer Peter Pan references included. 

Trigger Warnings: homophobia, assault, violence, forced closeting, etc. 

#lovewalwayswild #notsosincerelyyours #dearmrbrody #towhomitmayconcern #foreverconamor #forhim #forhimseries #amjohnson #saxonjames #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Brazen: Rebel Ladies Who Rocked The World

I can't remember who or where exactly I saw this book, but I'm sooooo happy that I stumbled across it (wherever and by whomever). Pénélope Bagieu's "Brazen: Rebel Ladies Who Rocked The World."

["Throughout history and across the globe, one characteristic connects the daring women of Brazen: their indomitable spirit. Against overwhelming adversity, these remarkable women raised their voices and changed history.

With her one-of-a-kind wit and dazzling drawings, celebrated graphic novelist Pénélope Bagieu profiles the lives of these feisty female role models, some world-famous, some little known. From Nellie Bly to Mae Jemison or Josephine Baker to Naziq al-Abid, the stories in this comic biography are sure to inspire the next generation of rebel ladies."]

And, unlike some other books, this book is incredibly inclusive. It's not just all modern women, it's not just all white women, it's not just all cis women, or straight women, or American/European-based women, or women who wanted to rebel or asked to be a role model. It's all encompassing and diversive and beautiful. 

I've re-learned about women I already read about before, women I never knew were anything other than internet rumors, women whom I never before knew existed. It's honest and straightforward. It's for adults and children (if you're willing to talk about a few difficult subjects). It's written and illustrated to levels I'm extremely jealous of. Each women has her own story, from start to finish, with a little life-lesson repeated at the end, followed up with a magnificent two-page mural dedicated to her/her story. All in full technicolor.

I've always been a proud female, and once I learned the true meaning of a feminist, I've always been that as well. Reading about my fellow rebels and nasty women, I've even more proud to be who I am.

Everyone needs to read this book. Everyone. Go, go now and buy it or borrow it from a local library. Read. It.

#brazen #brazenrebelladieswhorockedtheworld #rebelladieswhorockedtheworld #penelopebagieu #feminism #graphicnovels #books #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Not So Sincerely Yours (For Him series #2)

I stumbled across this series (For Him by A.M. Johnson) after an email recommendation came my way from Saxon James. The second book is titled “Not So Sincerely Yours.”

[“ Ethan, 
About last night... I could blame the bourbon. I could say I let things get out of hand, that I should have never called you, but I'm done lying to myself—to you. I know what you're going to say. You're not very good at keeping your opinions to yourself, but this can't happen. It's inappropriate, at best. I'm your boss. Not to mention, you're clearly still hung up on him. I'm not a consolation prize. 
Anders~  

Anders, 

You didn't think it was inappropriate when you had your tongue down my throat, but I digress. As for your accusation, I'm not the only one stuck in the past, but at least I'm not running from it. I can't believe I'm about to say this… Maybe you're right. You shouldn’t have called me. Especially if you never intended to own it. Own that you wanted it to happen. Admit that you wanted me. 
Not so sincerely, 

Yours “]

Ethan being Jax’s friend from book one, and Anders being Wild’s agent/friend/ex. Take all of that can’t-even-quite-figure-out-how-they-met-let-alone-drunkenly-hooked-up drama (obviously read it and figured it out, and well, it was super cute--meet-ugly ;) ) and add in some serious enemies-to-lovers spice, and you have “Not So Sincerely Yours.”

I literally don't know what to say about this book. I want to gush and gush and g u s h, but most of the things I want to gush about might/will spoil certain aspects of the novel itself... so I guess I'll keep my fangirl-mouth shut. :( Just take my word for it and read this book (series).

Trigger Warnings: biphobia, homophobia, religious/regional homophobia, not so great coming out stories, etc. 

#lovewalwayswild #notsosincerelyyours #dearmrbrody #towhomitmayconcern #foreverconamor #forhim #forhimseries #amjohnson #saxonjames #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Love Always, Wild: Bonus Content (For Him series #1.5)

I stumbled across this series (For Him by A.M. Johnson) after an email recommendation came my way from Saxon James. The first book (“Love Always, Wild”) comes with a cute little short story (via #BookFunnel).

[“Jax and Wild are back in these two sweet and steamy deleted scenes from ‘Love Always, Wild’“]

What it says on the tin, as they say. Just a little bit of extra lovin’ from our two favorite boys. Some fluff and some fun, some drama and some dick. ;)

#lovewalwayswild #notsosincerelyyours #dearmrbrody #towhomitmayconcern #foreverconamor #forhim #forhimseries #amjohnson #saxonjames #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Love Always, Wild (For Him series #1)

I stumbled across this series (For Him by A.M. Johnson) after an email recommendation came my way from Saxon James. The first book is titled “Love Always, Wild.”

[“ Wilder,

When I left that night, I had every intention of coming back to you. To us. But no matter how hard I wish for what I want, there are some things in life that aren't meant to be. I don't expect you to understand. You've already moved on, living your life. But mine ended that night, nine years ago, and I still can't let you go. Not sure I ever will. I regret so many things, but hurting you, I'll never forgive myself. I'm sorry for… everything.

Jax~

XXX

Jax,

If only you could've seen it like I did, the way you were when you thought the world wasn't watching. How you'd change when I looked at you, when it was just us.

But most of all… I wish you could've seen how much it hurt me when you disappeared. Regrets are for cowards. It has always been my belief you should chase after the things you want with actions, not words. There is no such thing as never meant to be.

So this apology… not accepted…

Love always, Wild“]

This book was veeeeerrrrrrry emotional. Very. The homophobia was heavy as hell, internalized homophobia even stronger. Then there was the pressure from their past and the heartbreak, the pressure of it just repeating itself, the pressure to come out (to enjoy and revel in true love) or to stay in the closet (to keep family in your life).

But they were super cute!! They were kinda dancing around each other a while, but Wild’s best friend was so supportive as well as calling them on their bullshit. Plus there was a of LoTR fantalk, including a cat named Gandalf. 

Mind the trigger warnings please!!

Trigger Warnings: homophobia, internalized homophobia, religious/regional homophobia, alcohol abuse, drunk driving, death/dying, not so great coming out stories, etc. 

#lovewalwayswild #notsosincerelyyours #dearmrbrody #towhomitmayconcern #foreverconamor #forhim #forhimseries #amjohnson #saxonjames #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Stealing The Show

Lucy Lennox was one of the many authors who contributed to #ProlificWorks's "Your Book Boyfriend's Boyfriend" promotion (which I posted about but didn't advertise the romance group title, my bad) with her short story, "Stealing The Show" (which, as far as I can tell, isn't (yet?) part of a series).

["The kiss was different every night. When the curtain goes up, the silent war between Jem and Dawson ends just long enough for their characters to wow the audience with a passionate embrace. As soon as they take their bows, the two Broadway actors go their separate ways. But one night, everything changes. The audience catches wind of the chemistry between them and the crowds go wild. Show management books them into a media blitz where the two of them have to present a united front and spend even more long hours together. When they have time to talk, the reasons for their war begin to unravel and the chemistry between them sparks hot enough to leap off the stage and into their real lives."]

A little bit of angst plus a lot of communication? Check. A little bit of steam and a lot of fluff? Check. ;)

This piece was sooooooooo cute!! I pretty much smiled like a fool and squealed like a fangirl the entire time. A. Must. Read.

And okay, so it was (loosely) connected to Lucy’s..entire works’ universe. The short story ended with a summer show in Aster Valley (hosted by Finn from “Hot As Heller”, from her Aster Valley series). It also mentioned Jude from “Jumping Jude”, her Made Marian series. So a win-win-win situation, really. ;)

#stealingtheshow #kissinghimwasjustanact #astervalley #astervalleyseries #mademarian #mademarianseries #hotasheller #jumpingjude #lucylennox #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

Professor Platonic (a Forever Wilde story)

Lucy Lennox was one of the many authors who contributed to "Nightingale: A Charity Anthology In Support of Ukraine" with her short story "Professor Platonic." Goodreads isn't exactly up to date on which series this story falls into, but Lucy did say that Jack (one of the protagonists) is a cousin of the Wilde family (from the series "Forever Wilde"). The follow blurb comes directly from today's email update:

["My short story is about a grad student (one of the Wilde cousins!) and his least favorite professor. It starts when Jack puts an ad online for a platonic night of cuddling. And the absolute worst person shows up to spend the night with him..."]

Obviously, because its Lucy's and it's a Wilde, I skipped right to this story in the anthology, but I'm sure to go back (eventually) and read the rest of the book. 100% of the royalties will be donated to relief and human rights organizations working in Ukraine. Nightingale is only available fora. limited time, buy it now!

These two were soooo dammed cute!! They both had similar desires and struggles in the beginning, got together in a totally cheesy, only-happens-in-Hallmar-movies-and-romance-books kinda way, and had similar desires and triumphs in the end.

Lucy Lennox never, ever fails to make something both incredibly sweet and incredibly steamy, whether it’s a full length novel or a short sorry, and this piece was even further proof of that, with a little Wilde fun (pun totally intended ;) ).

#professorplatonic #lucylennox #foreverwilde #nightingale #nightingaleacharityanthologyforukraine #acharityantholodyforukraine #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks

The Long Game (GameChangers #6)

This series (Rachel Reid's Game Changers) was my first introduction to the queer erotica genre. It also taught me that there is soooooo much more to this genre than just the steamy sex stuff. It's deep and meaningful and tackles topics that any other genre can, just with a little rated-r fun. ;) It also happens that this is one of my favorite series. The sixth book is titled "The Long Game." 

And I've waited soooooooooo so long for this novel/sequel to come out. I've wanted to know more about Shane and Ilya (more importantly, how they're going to navigate their relationship going forward) since their very first novel, "Heated Rivalry." It's been hinted and teased at for sooo long and I just need some out-and-proud-happily-ever-after.

["To the world they are rivals, but to each other they are everything.

Ten years.

That’s how long Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov have been seeing each other. How long they’ve been keeping their relationship a secret. From friends, from family…from the league. If Shane wants to stay at the top of his game, what he and Ilya share has to remain secret. He loves Ilya, but what if going public ruins everything?

Ilya is sick of secrets. Shane has gotten so good at hiding his feelings, sometimes Ilya questions if they even exist. The closeness, the intimacy, even the risk that would come with being open about their relationship…Ilya wants it all.

It’s time for them to decide what’s most important—hockey or love.

It’s time to make a call."]

Spoiler Alert: it's love.

I intended to clear my fucking schedule for this, not sleep, read until my eyes bled. Instead, I might have avoided reading it, like I do, because I've hyped it up for so long, and I didn't want to read about their conflicts and angst (just their happily ever afters), and I was avoiding my 'responsibilities' again. So it took me almost a week, some ugly sobbing, and some happy tears, but I finally finished Shane and Ilya’s epic conclusion.

It takes place roughly along the same timeline as “Role Model” (the fifth book), so if you haven’t read that one yet, be prepared for some spoilers (also, go read it). Also, please, please, please read the trigger warnings below; they’re super important.

What’s also important is the love and support and communication between these two. I mean, it’s far from perfect, but so is life and relationships. Sometimes, everything goes your way, and sometimes it’s just plain old fucked up. But the important part is, by the end of this novel, they have a whole life planned and a support system and a plan to bring diversity acceptance to the world of hockey once and for all (brought on by other players from previous books in the series, but ya know).

READ. THIS. BOOK. SERIES.

Trigger Warnings: suicide, depression, mental health, near-death-experiences, homophobia, internalized homophobia, an entire series of industries based on toxic masculinity, not believing rape victims, forced outting, etc

#gamechanger #heatedrivalry #toughguy #commongoal #rolemodel #thelonggame #gamechangerseries #rachelreid  #books #queerbooks #queererotica #bodicerippers #bookstagram #bookphotography #ilovebooks